Great Big Sister

This weekend we decided it was time to tell the Big Sister that she is going to be a Big Sister. She was amazingly mature and responsive. Lucy responded that we could call the baby Sunny and that she would carry it all around because it wouldn't be able to walk when it comes out of my belly. We gave her a bag of gifts to congratulate her, including a new Wee Baby Stella, that she hasn't put down since. She has even taught her new "special" baby to talk already. She wants her baby to be able to talk to her so she can get what she needs, not just cry. We got her two books. One about a little girl who becomes a big sister and one called "Baby on the Way." This book explains, in simple, but clear terms what is happening inside my body and what will change along the way. It briefly mentions the mommy's uterus and shows a picture of what it might be like for the baby on the inside. She didn't have too many questions, but she did ask if Jim has a baby in his belly. He got nervous about answering this, presuming this was a question of penis vs. vagina. I quickly answered that he can't have a baby because he doesn't have a uterus for the baby to grow in. Since then, she has told many people that her mommy has a baby, Sunny, in her belly, that she has a pretend baby in her own belly, and that daddy doesn't have one because he doesn't have a uterus. It makes me proud that she know has more sex ed than most adults with children in this country :-). 

Lulabean was so calm about the whole idea that it almost seemed as if she had some sort of spidey-sense that I had a baby in my belly and was just waiting for Jim and I to be ready to face the news. She knew she would carry the baby, sing it ABC's, and that it will cry for milkies from mama. She already settled on the idea that she would be a great teacher for the little sibling and was completely understanding that my body can't work in the same ways it could a few months ago. She even rearranged herself on the reading chair before bed so the baby could be comfortable. She immediately wanted to feel the baby kick, which can't quite be felt on the outside yet, but she is happy to pretend. 

I am still feeling very protective of her. We decided to take her to the 20 week ultrasound tomorrow and I wanted her to have some context for it. This evening I am going to show her the ultrasound pictures from her being in my belly. And we have been talking about what babies need for over a year now, long before we were even ready to have another baby. When she hears a baby cry, she tries to figure out what they might need. So far she has been gentle and kind with our neighbors new baby, Babybrothermo (one word :-). There are so many variables and too many hard things that may have to be explained to her. I cannot and do not intend to protect from everything. She is one sensitive little kid, though. Her feelings are hurt so easily and she cares so much for others. I can't imagine what we would do if "the plans changed," as we remind her frequently they may. I try to put it out of my head. She's my first born and even though she is certifiably a preschooler now, she will always be my baby. 

As can be seen from these pictures, Lucy and Jim have been growing in closeness. They spend loads of time reading together, much more than her and I. He forgot to put her in a pull-up last night and she soaked by the bed by the time I crawled in after a very long day on campus. I would have NEVER done this. He probably also spent most of the evening being present with her. Playing games, reading books, and doing works. She never got in the bath and they didn't brush her teeth. Nonetheless, I am overjoyed that they are getting along so well lately. They are going to be buds once this baby comes to meet our family and we are making an effort to start now. We also love, love, love that he has been primarily working from home for some time now. They often get dressed together in the morning, which saves me time and a headache. Yesterday he was in LA for work, we got into a power struggle over dressing, and she cried for him. She wanted to trade parents in the opposite direction of the rest of her life. This may hurt some moms feelings. I was thrilled and delighted and only frustrated that I couldn't tap out. 

Halloween this year was awesome. Not only was Lucy adorable in costume, but she was a delight to spend the evening with. She nailed "trick-or-treat" and even told a couple of people that we were looking for treats, not tricks. She said "thanks!" at every door and walked around the neighborhood for an hour. We let her eat one lollipop, one small chocolate, and one pack of gummy bears. She did ask for treats in the am, but we deflected and she didn't ask again, which is good because Jim and I have been enjoying her candy every day since :-). She was really into the idea of the holiday and loved decorating our apartments with painted pumpkins and the window clings my sister sent her. That means Jim and I can no longer ignore holidays. She is pumped for her chocolate cupcakes with strawberries on top with candles for her birthday. She wants the birthday song and is looking forward to the December birthday celebration at Nia House. This also means that we should probably get a Christmas tree this year. We are going to skip Santa coming to our house and just do some light presents from us. Jim's parents are planning to come and we'll have a nice meal and a lazy day of playing with them. And we will learn about Santa as a tradition and a symbol of the holiday. It is time to start some traditions with her that she can look forward to. Just not all of them.