Fundas with our Doula

34 Weeks

Yesterday was our first official visit would our doula, Erin Kerr, since we decided to hire her a few weeks ago. We "interviewed" two different doulas in town and decided to go with Erin for her subtle mix of crunchy-Ithacan spirit and her type A organization. She spent three hours at our house with us last night. Erin is overflowing with knowledge and we soaked it all in. There is an enormous comfort in knowing that she will be with us during labor & delivery. She will help us remember conversations we had and decisions we made while we weren't in the middle of labor, though her role is to speak with us about those conversations in a timely manner and support us in speaking to the providers at the hospital. We spent quite a bit of time talking about preparing to go to the hospital and the interventions both during labor & delivery and postpartum.

Two of our main questions lingering from the birthing class we took at the hospital were about the Vitamin K injection and the Erythromycin ointment for baby's eyes. She pointed us in the direction of the two articles linked previously and gave us some facts about the history and current practice of each. At this point, we have decided to forgo the Erythromycin and accept the Vitamin K injection, both for a number of reasons.

We also learned that if a mom has pitocin during labor & delivery, she is given a continued drip of it after the delivery is over. Pitocin takes over the oxytocin's job in the body and the uterus will not contract without the continued intervention. There seem to be many medical interventions that providers just do to the mom and baby as part of a routine as opposed to explaining why they are medically necessary. In case of emergency, I get it. No questions. No stopping. Get mom and baby safe and on the other side of the emergency. In the case of concern with no explanation, panic and anxiety can be created. Lucky for us, we will have Erin there to help us decipher each situation.

There are so many amazing medical advancements and interventions available to women in our country. While I am appreciative of them from a scientific and medical perspective, I am hoping to avoid most, if not all, of them. Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind as many times as I like. I have never given birth before and can only have researched knowledge at this point, not experiential knowledge.  

I also got the feeling Daddy Bear is getting a better sense for the level of neediness causing exhaustion that an infant brings with her. We both know that the baby will eat every 2-3 hours. Learning that the baby will likely poop every time she eats (most breastfed babies do) and that the next 2-3 (45 min-3 hour) window begins at the start of the current feeding was a bit surprising to Jim. His eyes got as big as they did when the doula described my organs floating back down into place after place. He started calculated in his head and seemed to realize for the first time just how tired the Bisha's are going to be for a while. Add to that that this routine lasts for 3-6 months and he just about fell off of the couch. We talked this morning and both agreed to try not to take things personally when we are inevitably mean to each other at some point during those days of exhaustion. (I say this with a chuckle.)

3 hours worth of baby conversation had us both worn out and with lots to process and consider. Jim requested a coffee date with Erin around 37 or 38 weeks to make sure we are on the same page and to cover and last minute concerns and questions. Erin was lovely enough to oblige his request. I am sure we will do tons of thinking before then, but hopefully we can keep it shorter than 3 hours :-).

Worry Warts

32 Weeks Pregnant

We have arrived at 33 weeks pregnant, which means a little over 8 months along. I may have said it before, but Jim and I both agree that this is the slowest-fastest time we have ever experienced. At this time last year we were working through the details of our trip to Thailand and Singapore and settling in on the decision to go off of birth control at the end of that adventure. Now here we are...enjoying every little moment of growing a human life.

Smidgey's movements have definitely changed over the course of the past few months. She has gone from a flutterby to strong and consistent kicks/punches to more of a squirmy worm creating waves all across my belly. Lucky for me, she has managed to find the bottom of my rib cage this week, sometimes stopping me mid-sentence with a good wallop. I have become addicted to her movements and am amazed by the womanly art of pregnancy every time she hiccups.

Movement for me is become a bit more difficult, although still the most important part of feeling good and keeping my energy up (in addition to well-timed, diverse food). Swimming has even slowed recently and I have added on about 5 minutes to my mile time, which sometimes involves a few laps of walking now. However, I am still in that pool for 70 lengths! Personal training continues to be very important and has made a major impact on my balance and stamina. Squats seem to be the number one most recommended movement to prepare for child birth and squat I do! I am down to a little less than half my pre-pregnancy weight on the rack, but I am grateful to still be at it. Walking is also crucial at this point, which makes an 8-5 office job really interesting. I swear sitting at my desk is the most damaging part of this process.

(I made Jim take this video to remind that I can still a lot of things, just in a different and much more controlled way). 

Jim and I even had the opportunity to enjoy a gorgeous fall day in the Adirondack Mountains climbing two weekends ago. Jim climbed 7 routes and I climbed 2, but I wasn't even sure I would be able to tolerate my harness at 8 months pregnant. Being with my favorite climbing out in the woods on a sunny day surrounded by yellow, red and orange foliage was a welcome treat. It was a bonus to tie in to the rope and ascend 200 feet of rock.

Daddy had a chance to go to Moab, Utah over this past weekend to "try his hand" at a dream crack climbing destination. He managed to smash his phone the first day he and Yamin arrived to Indian Creek and then remained out of service range for the following 49.5 hours. Around hour 45 I started to realize that I am harboring major anxiety over having an early baby. At hour 49, I had just about convinced myself I was going to have to go through labor and delivery alone. At hour 49.5, I lost my mind when I heard Jim's voice. Message received: dig deep and uncover a way to cope with this unhealthy and unfounded fear. An amazing thing happened when I found out I was pregnant. I have a heightened sense of the importance of love and relationships and how easily those relationships can be altered or stripped away. This is something that will probably stick with me forever and has definitely grown in capacity over the course of this pregnancy, but I had a nice long talk with Smidgey about trusting her and trusting my body. Even if she does come early (or any number of other difficult situations that may arise and likely will at some point throughout this little girl's life) I cannot have so much anxiety waiting for the bottom to fall out. Luckily I am married to one amazing man and we are going to spend some intentional time together this weekend which always calms me right now.

Birth Class

31 Weeks and the weather is still warm!

We recently had the opportunity to take a birth class at Cayuga Medical Center, where I plan to give birth, at the beginning of October. I was perturbed by the mid-wife at Ithaca OBGYN that insisted they would only teach us how to be patients at the hospital and maintained that we take her class at the OBGYN office. We decided to take a class in the place that we would eventually end up in a few months. This was an excellent choice. We got to see the rooms, try out the different bed positions, practice driving in and parking (well, Jim did this part :-) and now we have general muscle memory about the process and the surroundings. I particularly appreciated the epidural demonstration that Nurse Jocelyn did for us. She explained that it can be shocking for a woman in labor to go from being a free bird to being connected to an  IV, the line for the epidural, a blood pressure monitor and a heart monitor for both mom and baby. Jim and I volunteered to do the demonstration and it was quite startling. I am in no way anti-medical intervention, but going from none to so much was jarring even in a practice round. It is good to have a more clear picture of what that looks like.

Overall the new wing at Cayuga Med is gorgeous. It may sound weird, but I am looking forward to labor and delivery. Never in my life have I felt more feminine or proud to be a woman and I haven't even given birth yet.

Healthy & Happy

30 Week Belly

Quick update from the 30 week appointment: Baby and I are both healthy and doing very well. We have confirmation that Smidgey is in fact a little girl. My belly is measuring between 29-30 centimeters, which is great for a 30 week baby. I am only up 9 pounds and have license (after a long lecture from the mid-wife) about increasing my calorie intake. This is partly due to my body swapping muscle for fat as my work out routine has changed over the course of the past 7 and a half months, I don't have to be told that twice! Smidgey's heart rate is between 120-130 (average range is 110-170) and she is still head down. Livelier than ever, Smidge gave the mid-wife another nice show at the appointment. My iron is good, my blood sugar is great and my overall health is holding strong. My gratefulness for such a wonderful experience so far is never-ending.

The "guest room" has been re-nested for about the 32nd time. Now we have the perfect spot for our new mobile and the book banner Gram made. I am still feeling really good lifting twice a week for 30 minutes with my trainer, Joey, and getting about 2-4 miles of lap swimming depending on the week. Not sleeping on my back is VERY difficult as I am still quite comfortable that way. The whole "blocking blood flow from the placenta" bit is pretty motivating, though. I think it is time for poor Jim to have an additional pillow added to the bed.

Jim is more amazing than ever. My sister got us a frame that says, "I never knew how much I loved your father until I had you." That sums up my feelings exactly. Hopefully he'll read this and decide to send me flowers, which I normally do not want, but the hormones wouldn't mind a small display of fresh buds on my desk.

Cake, Books, Family & Friends

This past week was overwhelmed Jim, Smidgey and me from start to finish. We experienced more love and support this week than I could possibly have anticipated. Auntie Crystal came to visit us from California. Aunt Tracy flew in from North Carolina. Meredith came up from Virginia. Friends and family gathered together to celebrate from all over New York. The weather was absolutely fantastic. Jim and I have never been so grateful for so many things.

Although I missed my four favorite little girls so very much, the time I got to spend with just my sister was wonderful. We went for pedicures, got a massage and even found the sign we have been looking for our entire lives. It was priceless time and I will cherish it forever.

My sister ditched me to finish getting our baby celebration together with my mom. Lucky for me, Meredith VanDeursen drove up from Virginia to join in the fun. Since the weather was so fabulous, we got to hike in Six Mile Creek Gorge and we stopped by Taughannock falls on the way back from our party. She even bought Smidgey the sweetest, most adorable Hokie gear I have ever seen. The first time I saw those little outfits my freshman year I knew I would have to have them some day. 

Finally the day of the Baby Celebration arrived on Saturday. We got a message to arrive at Barnes and Noble at noon to pick up a "clue." This was a very special book from Auntie Crystal, Poems to Learn by Heart, by Caroline Kennedy, with an invitation to the party that we have been looking forward to! Meredith snapped a quick photo and off we went to Cayuga Lake State Park in Seneca Falls, NY, a place so beautiful (and with stroller friendly walking trails right on the lake!) that we are planning to visit again soon. Auntie Crystal greeted us and showed us into a gorgeous wooden lodge where so many of our family and friends were gathered to celebrate with us.

The "theme" of the party was books and reading. There were books every where! It was so absolutely perfect and more than I could have ever imagined. Guests even brought books and placed a nameplate in their gift to Smidgey. Every time we read one of those books, this baby will know about one more amazing person in our family's life. My mom made a gorgeous cake that was the stump and a page out of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree as well as an 18 foot banner made out of children's picture books (which will likely be finding a place in Smidgerton's room). 

The generosity of everyone around was overwhelming. Anneke and her girls (and Tad?) handmade the most incredible mobile out of pieces of nature they found a their not-farmette. Aunt Tracy and Uncle Tyler supplied Smidge with the a "Thing 1" onesie that is so absolutely perfect for Jim's child with a matching bib and Dr. Suess book set that we will surely read four hundred times. Papa hand built a co-sleeper for our bedroom out of solid oak with all the love you could imagine. Gram is refurbishing my Great-Grandmothers gliding rocker with a uniquely embroidered B for Bisha on the cushion. Grandma and Grandpa B got Smidgey the sweetest little blue nighty with a matching hat and a handpainted elephant jumper. This list goes on and on! (Some day I will sit down and record everything!)

Jim and Tad showed off their Dad skills (or lack thereof?) with a silly game of dress the baby and get baby ready for a walk. They had everyone in stitches. The food was fantastic. The company was incredible. The venue was perfect. It was an amazing day. 

Oh, did I forget to mention the secret cake? And that we are having a baby girl? Jim wanted to know the sex of our baby more than I didn't, so my sister had a gluten free cake made for us with a blue or pink center. She took a sealed envelope from our mid-wife to the baker 8 weeks ago and the cake arrived with the surprise center. In the meantime, guests at the party were sticking the Giving Tree cake with toothpicks to get a sneak peak! Jokes on you. The secret cake came out only in the end. I was completely shocked at how much suspense the cake created...especially for me! Jim tried to get me to cut it, or at least help him, but I was as nervous as could be. He, of course, just loved all of the attention :-). The inside of the cake was speckled with pink and it looks like we are having a tiny little girl. There remains no need for princesses and animal print, although pink seems to have already made an entrance into the closet.