Resignations and Chatter

This week I put in my official resignation for my full-time, salaried job with excellent benefits and loads of vacation days plus retirement in the state system to be a SAHM. I honestly never saw this coming. Now that I have LucyLou in my life nothing else seems as important, though. Admittedly, I would love to go back to my job part-time, but, as discussed in other soapboxes on this blog that do not need reiteration, that is not a possibility. Some days I find myself feeling a bit lost. Being Lucy's mom is the single most important, rewarding, meaningful job I have and will ever have. It is not exactly what you might consider intellectually stimulating. I am able to be the mom I am, which is the best I can possibly do, because of all of my past experiences and I am not taking that for granted. I have already fired our cleaning lady, reduced our cell phone packages, ban myself from Amazon unless it is a necessity and have made a new grocery budget. I am also working three mornings a week at the gym's childcare center for a whopping $9.00 an hour, the lowest hourly wage I have made since high school. On the upside, they also cover my membership at two locations and I can use the childcare when I am not working for free. Oh, did I mention I can can take Lucy with me? This means no bottles, less pumping and after our first week on the new job, Lucy actually seems to enjoy it. She is worn out by the time we get home at 1:30, but she spends the morning talking with other children who love reading and singing to her. She even met another baby one month older than her and they hit off right from the start :-). As you can see from this sporadically written paragraph, it is easy to feel a bit lost and aloof without a concrete schedule, but we will get there. After all, it has only been 3 and a half months.

It has already been three and a half months?! How in the world did that happen? (And why is it stiiiillll snowing?) Pregnancy is a faint memory. Newborn diapers seem so tiny that no baby would ever need them. Lucy head is so big none of her infant hats fit and we are about to move into size two diapers. Our little biology experiment is proving to be one of great fascination to me time continues to move so slowly and so quickly all at the same time. Lucy loves to do a growing number of things these days. She has learned to get the attention of those around her by talking, loudly if necessary and she adores the crazy lady voice we moms seem to be professionals at. She has started to want to see the world from new and exciting perspectives, such as sitting upright. Her smiles get bigger every day (and she melts me to the ground with every single one of them) and are sometimes followed up with something of a giggle. She seems relatively well adjusted to life on the outside and wakes up happy as a clam (whatever that actually means) each morning reminding us to Carpe Diem, within the constrains of bowel movements, naps, gas, nursing, overstimulation, under-stimulation, limiting time in the car seat, the fears of cold and flu season and the ever looming anxiety of parenting. So, we carpe diem in every little smile and the joyful chatter of a tiny, but strong Lucy Bear in very different ways than rock climbing the cliffs of Thailand, but with as much gratefulness as ever.

In boring, but "I want to remember this later" news, I have said to hell with "sleep, but awake" bedtimes and continue to nurse our darling girl to sleep. There is just not enough time in the day to fight natural biological responses that have been working for moms and babes since the dawn of time. She is spending some time most nights in her co-sleeper, but I usually snuggle her in close during her first night feeding and just keep her there. She is just way too good of a cuddler to slide her away from me. We have also started an actual bedtime routine which is working well. It starts with a bath in the 6:15-6:45 range, then a shower for mommy. She seems zoned out and content to lay in a Lucy nest on the floor and listen to the sound of the water, a relief for me. Then we may hang out a little, bounce on the yoga ball, just relax a little followed by bedtime stories (we love the Nancy Tillman books) in the rocking chair. Usually she asks to nurse during this time and then I sing A Your Adorable and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She is still nursing to sleep, but I am often able to settle her into bed after that and take some time to read or pick-up around the house. So far so good!

Flying with a Baby

Some tips for future us on flying with a baby:

• Traveling at 6 weeks old is scary, but can be done and Lucy adapted well to this. She slept on the plane most of the time and her ears did not seem to bother her.
• Bring the nursing pillow, if possible a small version
• Bring extra wipes and diapers, enough for the flight plus enough for the first day of the trip. Buy more when you arrive.
• Pack an extra outfit in the personal item for mom and baby
• Call the airline to make sure "infant in arms" is on the ticket in advance
• Board first when families are called and take all the time you need to get settled in
• Pee and diaper change before getting on the plane
• Change baby's diaper in the seat while ignoring dirty looks for flight attendants. The bathroom is nasty.
• Wear the baby through security. The seat and stroller will need to be scanned.
• Drive to and from the airport during sleepy times if possible
• Choose a longer layover over a short one
• Avoid flying through NYC
• Breastfeed. Whip out the boob and just go for it.

• Remember that babies do not have appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Ignore other passengers when they comment that your baby was "good." Babies are babies and all babies are good. "Didn't cry" does not equal "good."
• Take Lysol wipes for piece of mind
• Pack outfits in baggies for ease of finding everything you need. Also makes a sealable place tp put soiled items.
• Wear shoes you can easily get on and off at security while wearing baby
• Place birth certificate in a plastic sleeve and then in a folder for safe keeping in case they ask for it at security
• Try to rest if baby sleeps on the plane
• Try to underpack, particularly if you are going some where with a Target and/or a washer/dryer. We take more crap with us now than when we went rock climbing in Thailand and took our own gear. It is incredible and completely unnecessary. We are learning!
• Give baby a chance to stretch out during layovers. Play games, sing songs and do some baby yoga. 
• Dress you and baby in layers. I love to wear a nursing tank, yoga pants and a long-sleeve t-shirt. I like to dress Lucy in a short-sleeve onesie with a long sleeve, light jacket over it and pants that have feet. I cannot handle sock loss and you never know the temperature of the plane. 
• Be calm. Baby can sense your stress! 

Thumbs the Word

Two weeks have flown by since I last wrote a blog post. Many things have happened since then and much learning has occurred. First of all, our growing gal is now three months old! Her smile is turning into a little laugh and it continues to melt my heart every single time she flashes her bare gums. She even let me play dress-up with her multiple days in a row, which is what happens when you are stuck inside with your mom and spring just won't get here.

Auntie Cry and Auntie MerBear came all the way up from Virginia to meet this little Babushka and we had a wonderful weekend. Lucy may lack many things as her life goes on, but love will not be one of them. My dear friends showered her with love and smiles and snuggles. Lucy was surprised to find out that they even know the high-pitched baby smile solicitation voice. It was wonderful to have an entire weekend to catch up with them. This visit was a bit different than most in the past and involved Meredith putting an offer on a house, Crystal's pregnancy and our joyful baby girl. I am grateful to continue to have such wonderful friends in my life and now as a part of Lucy's life, too. We have been through so much together and it felt completely right for them to be here with us during this new phase of life.

As an extra special treat, we got to take Lucy to Florida to spend time with Aunt Joan, Uncle Andy, their children and granddaughter. I am stunned, shocked, awe-struck at how much Lucy enjoyed being able to feel the breeze in her hair. Time for a nap? Insert baby in stroller, put on sunglasses, walk out the front door. Need exercise? Wash, rinse, repeat. Want to get some fresh air? Head out back to the patio. Jim and I are thankful for some time in the sunshine and warm weather, but Lucy seemed to love it most. This was the case when we were in California, too. We came home to 27 degrees and snow still on the ground. Lucy and I tried to go for a walk today, but by the time she was bundled and the stroller was wind proofed, we were both so annoyed that we can back inside after 20 minutes. It was clear that she was more fussy being stuck in the house today than she had been all week, even after all of the travel to get to Florida. Lucy will always be a New York baby. She was meant to be born in Ithaca and we are eternally grateful for the wonderful pregnancy and birth experience we had here. We just can't take another winter, though. And the Florida sunshine only reinforced that for us. 

While we were in Florida Lucy did a number of new and exciting things. She fell asleep in the car in the car seat! She also started pulling up on the fingers of the person holding her to a sitting position, which is really into. She found her thumb and is vigorously trying to suck it off of her hand. It is one of the cutest things she has done yet. I have no idea how we are going to get her to stop, but for now it is some good self-soothing. Hopefully she figures out it is delicious at bedtime, too! This trip was the most time she spent in the arms of people who are not her parents. She definitely let us know when she was ready for mommy or daddy, but also seemed to be content, if not enjoy, time with other people who love her. This meant that Jim and I even got in the pool together one afternoon! (This also means that I am getting more comfortable letting her out of my sight, as long as I can get to her quickly and easily).  McGooster is also getting more comfortable sleeping without me for little bit of time (wait, maybe it is the other way around?!) In fact, she is asleep in her co-sleeper now for the first time since we brought her home. She is a great traveler (minus the car, although traveling at 3am and 11pm meant she actually slept the whole in the car) and handles flying with grace and ease. 

Hedgehog

I am typing this post one-handed while I sit propped up in bed with a sleeping Lucy on my shoulder. While I am not quite ready to be in bed at 8:00 p.m., and while many critics may be saying we need to sleep train our baby, I am happy as a clam with my sweet baby sound asleep in my arms. Jim is going to make the co-sleeper level with our bed which will make scootching her into it easier (she still startles VERY easily) and it will be nice to have some more snuggle time with Jim. For now, though, I savor every moment she takes comfort in my arms. She will only fall asleep softly at my breast for so long and I am in no hurry to see these days end.

Lucy did many new things in the past few days, even beyond rolling over. She figured out she can swat the toys hanging from her playmat, much to her delight. She gripped onto her hedgehog toy (from Aunt Crystal) in her car seat today and later held him and sucked on him while Daddy read Shel Silverstein poetry to her. She has never held anything but me or the occasional shirt of whoever is holding her and this seemed to bring her comfort. The great, growing girl suckled a pacifier until she fell asleep today and drank an ounce of milk from a bottle with daddy. We even went on our first library visit today. It makes perfect sense that she was sound asleep by 6:45 this evening!

At one point not long ago I couldn't put Lucy down so I could pee without overwhelming guilt and fear that she would feel abandoned. Tonight Jim and Lucy played/read/ate/got changed for bed WITHOUT my assistance. I even got to complete my nursing shirt improvement project. Because she hasn't been taking a bottle I only left an ounce for Jim to feed her, so she was still hungry and gladly fell asleep at my breast, but Jim did wonderfully, Lucy seemed to enjoy herself (as you can see from the photo) and I felt like we were parenting together. It really was terrific. No two days are the same. I have fallen into the trap of thinking Lucy may do the same thing two days in a row before only to have my expectations for the day destroyed. I do think it will be good to have Jim snuggle her, read to her, change her and occasionally feed her in the evenings as consistently as possible. I HATE to hear her upset even the littlest bit, but I understand the benefits of partnership and of Lucy and Daddy Bear learning about each other. I am thankful that this is (slowly) get less difficult and more enjoyable for me. Besides, I got to listen to poetry, too!

Rolly Polly Olly!

Dimples like her mama.

Lucy was doing some tummy time at the Patterson's house yesterday (to work out some gas). Before i knew it she was up on her hands for the first time and trying her heart out to get off of her belly and to her back. Kate even said, "that girl is about to roll over." After a brief break from tummy time for mommy snuggles, I placed her back on her belly and bam! She rolled right over onto her back. I could hardly believe something so simple could melt my heart and bring tears to my eyes! She rolled over two more times this morning and I even caught it on video! What a woman.

Lucy has really started grabbing to things in the past week, mostly her favorite things, which include my shirt, my hair and, you guessed it, my breasts. (We are keeping her fingernails short!) I have been offering her things to hold, though she isn’t very interested yet. Hanging toys from her swing, bouncy chair and play mat have delighted her though, and if I can get her to want to hold a toy it might make adventures in the car go more smoothly.

I broke down and bought her a huge, space wasting plastic bathtub. The minimalist approach of a sponge in the sink was not making bath time enjoyable for either of us. This one cost $16 on Amazon and has a mesh seat with a similar shape to her bouncy chair that she loves. The plastic behemoth is an eye sore, but she is much more relaxed and I feel much more confident. Win, win.