Five Months of Smiles

Time Slow Down

For the first time in 3.5 years of parenting, I am having a moment of "don't grow up baby!" Coopey can keep growing and growing, it's Lucy I want to keep right now, in this time for more than just a few months. She is getting mature and developing a wonderful, clever sense of humor. She is caring and considerate and looks out for others. On our recent trip to upstate New York, she seemed to have an understanding of being the leader as well as the underdog. She was so exhausted from the start of the trip after a very delayed flight and going to bed on our first night at 6:30 a.m. east coast time and she was an absolute delight to be around. There were lots of people to pour attention and love over her and that definitely gives me a chance to step back and observe. Nonetheless, Jim and I both felt enamored with her politeness, her playfulness, her sense of humor, and a sudden leap in outgoingness. This year she has definite memories of many of the people we saw and seemed much more comfortable in her own skin than ever before. Even after all of the positive experiences we have had with Jonana and Nia House of the past 3 years, guilt still creeps up about her being in school for so long each day at such a young age. This trip made it clear that she is only benefitting from the time she has spent away from Jim and me.

We also spend a lot of time together and I am working on following her lead and keeping things simpler as she gets older. She creates the games we play now and her imagination soars in ways my hasn't since childhood. She no longer needs me to create scenarios or art projects for her. She can sit down with a blank paper and a colored pencil and draw people and rainbows and dragons. Yes, she drew a recognizable dragon yesterday at the San Jose Children's Museum. It's hard to describe what exactly is so amazing her about her in the stage she is in. Her verbal articulation and vocabulary are as strong as ever and this means conversations have actually become reciprocal and interesting. (Yesterday she was playing with plastic animals and the lion had to "go back to his habitat because he was mean and now his exhibit is closed"). Now that she has her own room she is more independent at home and there is no doubt that Jim and I feel calmer with her now that we aren't sitting in her room for 45 minutes to an hour each night while she falls asleep. Up to this point in parenting, I have enjoyed every stage with her. Right now stands out as a time that I want to savor and remember and hold onto.

I'm sure another part of enjoying Lucy so much is that Cooper keeps growing and getting more enjoyable himself. Those first three months, man, they are wearing. Coopey is quite the chatterbox and provides a strong, positive feedback loop when he is talked to. His favorite thing to do right now is hold his baby feet, lay on his back, and talk to anyone and everyone while he makes eye contact. He is also moving all around, from rolling over to scootching around his belly. He continues to be one strong and motivated little chubster. He weighed in at 17 pounds 10 ounces over three weeks ago at his 4-month appointment and hasn't stopped growing. He is about to grow out of his 9-month clothing and move into 12-month clothing at 5 months old.

Particularly because of the c-section, I had really been missing Lucy and really wondering what was so wrong with only having one kid. I know moms are supposed to feel that way and if they do, they certainly aren't supposed to say it or write it, but that's the dark and ugly truth. Now that Cooper is also getting more independent and sleeping independently with very little fuss and muss, I have more space in my brain to find enjoyment and gratitude, not just misery and annoyance. Sleep is a beautifulnecessity and I'm finally getting some again. In fact, we went on the Nia House camping trip this past weekend and Cooper slept from 8 p.m.-2 a.m., by far his longer sleep ever. Last night he went from 5:30 p.m.-1:00 a.m. Besides my engorged boobies, it was heaven. I woke up ready to take on the day and excited to see my family. All three of them. And, I slept in bed with only my husband in our room. While Cooper naps alone in his own bed for at least an hour at a time, I'm able to sit and play or eat or sing or chat or read with Lucy. I've even had the privilege of doing bedtime with her again. Things are feeling more even all around, even between Jim and I. I'm laughing and enjoying our marriage once again and I'm grateful to be a family of four.