Lucy's First Rotation Around the Sun

We kept our darling gal alive for an entire year. It has been, hands down, the most amazing year of my life and my gratitude and respect for mother/parenthood grows every day. In terms of development, this will likely be Lucy's most growingest year of her whole life and it has been fascinating to be a part of her growth and learning.

We transitioned Lucy out of childcare and into the hands of Joanna, the most wonderful, caring and thoughtful nanny our family could have ever imagined. She speaks to Lucy exclusively in Spanish and has made a tremendously positive impact on all three of our lives. I no longer have to schlep Lucy to campus, schlep her home, schlep clean clothing, schlep bottles. There is so much less schlepping that I spent 7 days in two weeks biking to the rock climbing gym, working out, climbing, showering (yes, right after a workout!!!) and then doing work at the gym. I have time to exercise, guilt free, and spend less time away from Lucy than I was before. While Jim and I are cognizant of the need for socialize for Lucy, we are astounded by the amount of growth she made in just a few

weeks with "Yo Nana," as we are lovingly calling her. Joanna is taking her to an activity each day, for her sanity as much as Lucy's development, and she will get tons of socialization when she starts back up at school in the fall. I don't know how we functioned without Joanna. Sadly, she is far too talented and bright to be a nanny forever, but we are soaking in as much of her as we can until we have to send her to more exciting adventures.

P.S. Joanna thrives on adventure and learning new things. She has taken up rock climbing with us. Yes, that is right, a nanny who adores our daughter and also enjoys going climbing with us at the gym and outdoors. I will never know how we got so lucky, but we are grateful to have her in our family each and every day.


At one year old, Lulabee is really into animals. She has animal sounds for cow, pig,, lion, duck, cat, gallina (hen, but she only responds for the Spanish word :-) and rat. She has mastered the signs for more, eat and milk and will use them whether she is being spoken to Spanish or English. Walking has entered her radar and she is pulling up and standing on everything. She has an adorable move where she lets go with her hands, put them out for balance and makes a conscious effort to do "standing work." As with most things she does, she came up with this move on her own. Jim made her a walking contraption, showed her what to do twice, and she was off and cruising after that. She has started to doing "ta-da!" and putting her hands out to the sides when she accomplishes something she worked hard on. Her stamina continues to grow and she is willing to work at difficult tasks for longer and longer periods of time. My parents got her a bike for her birthday and she thinks this is the best thing that has ever happened to her (besides milkies). She loves to ride around. Ideally this happens outside, but when it is raining she is happy to be pushed around our 980 square foot apartment, an activity that is much more interesting for her as the rider than us as the pusher.

Lucy has taken a strong interest in climbing. Everything. Humans. Stairs. Slides. Playgrounds. Curbs.
Everything. It really is amazing to watch her instincts to climb everything. She tends to be tentative at the start of something new, but once she assesses the environment as safe and comfortable, she cannot be stopped. I am working VERY hard on not interfering with her thought process and attempts to explore until she asks for help. I stay near by to reassure her that I am there to support her, but only when asked to support. I have the tendency to jump in, inundate her with as much vocabulary as possible and really, just get in her way. She is adventurous, confident but not overly so and trusts in the world.

She waves to everyone everywhere we go...you would think she was the president walking through Costco. Before we know it she will be offering to give her autograph out while raspberry covered hands and wide-mouthed, wet kisses for all. She is oh-so loving, sooo, sooo loving and is generous with all of that love. It absolutely breaks my heart when someone ignores her or won't wave back (yes, this happens, even to a small human). I want to punch them in the face and tell them they might her feelings and they better, at least, give her a little wave, but surely they can muster up a smile to go with it. But I don't. Because I know she is going to have her feelings hurt. I know it is not my job to protect her, but to prepare her so be strong when things hurt. The Mama Bear instinct is strong and it takes an immense amount of effort act with thought first and emotion second.

One of her new favorite activities is getting into boxes and baskets and buckets. It is an absolute bonus if someone is willing to push her around the apartment in one. Lucky for Loulabee, Joanna is willing to push her around in any baby holding device she can crawl into.

I am happy/sad/happy/sentimental/sad/happy to report that my sweet baby girl is weaning herself from the nursies. We had a turning point a couple of weeks ago when she had milk and sat up to ask for food when she was finished nursing. Milk is no longer a meal for her. It is for comfort, for thirst and for time with mama. I am longer a source of nutrition for her. She doesn't need my milk any more. She can have it for as long as I produce it and as long as wants it, but it is clear that she isn't drinking nearly as much nearly as often. In fact, I am done pumping (unless the dreaded clogged ducts reappear as she weans. This past week provided me with one on each side and it is dreadfully painful). I realized just tonight that I am talking up being done with the activity that has kept us bonded from the beginning of her life outside of my body. I used my body to grow her and then continued using it to sustain her life. That is powerful and emotional. I do not know life as a mom without breastfeeding and the transition away from it feels a bit unnatural. I am sure when she is 16 it will be a distant and fond memory, but her first time latching is so vivid and clear in mind that it is nearly impossible for me to picture being her mom without this part of our relationship. I am not sorry to say adios to the pump, to the bottles, to the flanges and the valves. And, I have a few hundred ounces stored up in the freezer so she won't even need cows milk (or whatever milk we land on) for a while yet. I mean, she is drinking milk out of a sippy cup already! It is time to pack up the bottles and guide her into this new stage of toddlerhood.

Recently Jim asked to decrease his support staff role from 70% to more like 60% and has taken over bed time as a result of his request. To my amazement, but not surprise, she only cries when I leave the room and only for a few minutes. She sits up from bedtime nursies and calls for Daga to come get her, although she is always sad when he actually appears. It is as if she says to us, "I am ready to sleep. Mama isn't good at helping me with this. I need Daga to help me." She went from crying for 45 minutes the first time to crying for the first one-three minutes a couple of weeks later. He thinks he is god's gift to fatherhood and bedtime and I am grateful that Lucy is learning to take comfort in her dad. I can see the difference in their relationship during the day time now that he has taken this active role in the evenings. It soaks up some of his climbing time, but I get a couple of things done around the house and then slip in next to her. Next up...night weaning for more then 2-4 hours of sleep at a time.

We haven't been to her one year well-baby visit (amazing how time can relax a person. If I had been

this late to her two month check-up I would have turned her over to CPS as I failed as the most neglectful mom in the world. I know realize our baby really has NEVER been neglected-thanks Jeff). We go at the end of this week. We did decide to give a flu shot based on Joan's recommendation. Babies with the flu are babies in the hospital. I am not interested. While a flu shot is not a guarantee, it is a first line of defense. I don't know how we will decide in the coming years, but for now it feels like a good decision. She weighed 19 pounds when she got the first shot and we are thinking she is probably around 22 at this point. This morning she was standing up at the window sill in the kitchen and could see straight out on flat feet. He head is taller than the garbage can. She is starting to look like a toddler and not a baby, although she will as be my Baby Lucy.

Pumpkins & Kisses

Our curly haired, snugly little lovebug keeps growing and changing every day. At her nine month well baby visit (only a month late, mooooommmmm...) she weighed in at 18.5 pounds and was 28 inches long (or is she tall now that she can stand?).  She was hesitant at the doctor's office and the pediatrician said she was "displaying an appropriate amount of stranger anxiety" for a baby her age. Yes, she is still a baby, although she seems grown-up in so many ways. She is healthy as a clam and apparently we are doing okay as parents.

Lucy celebrated her first Halloween last weekend with her cousins, aunt and uncle. We carved pumpkins together and la pollita pequena ate enough pumpkin goop to experience her first bout of choking followed by me scooping her throat clear and then projectile vomiting on Aunt Clickl's floor. Sometimes it seems like I should let her do and sometimes it seems like I should put the reins on, as in "don't eat stringy, uncooked pumpkin until you puke." She was only momentarily traumatized and then we are decided playing in the goop with a spoon and fingers was a better idea than ingesting it. Mom reliability rating down 4 points. We had a really fun day and even went trick-or-treating. I thought Lucy may be a bit hesitant about walking up to random houses, but she enjoys facing out in her new Ergo 360 carrier (highly recommend...we should have spent the money on this bad boy much sooner). She waved at everyone and even blew some people kisses. Not to mention the fact that she was absolutely darling in her fuzzy little outfit.

Jim and I caught a rare and amazing moment together on Sunday when we were recovering from Halloween. Lucy was standing and holding onto her small human sized bookshelf (that I made out of a dish rack that we found in the dumpster) when she suddenly let go to rip a toiler paper roll off of the wall (which was there so that she could put fuzzy balls through the tubes). She stood trying to remove the taped on roll from her arm for about 5 seconds. Jim and I both happened to be there and gawked at each other in surprise. Lulabee still has no idea that if she moves her feet she can do this thing called "walking," but it was pretty exciting to catch her in this moment.

This week at school she has been the darling of classroom, of course, I think she is always the darling
of every room she is in. When I went to pick her up yesterday the babies were outside and crawling through a cloth tube. I was holding her on one side of the tube and her birthday buddy, Guy, came barreling through. Just as he got to us, she leaned in, mouth wiiiiddddeee open and planted a big, wet kiss right on his face. It was so absolutely precious. Guy reached up and smacked her to show his appreciation and this clearly hurt her feelings, but babies show their love in weird, aggressive ways sometimes. Then, as we were leaving, she blew her first three real kisses to her teachers. Usually she gets her hand to her mouth and then waits for me to send the kiss off, but yesterday she put her up, made a kissing sound and sent it off without the need for help or prompting. She is so loving and it warms my heart.

She/we have had a string of about 4 great weeks in a row. I decided to be less ambitious (ugh) and tone our schedule down a bit. Between riding bike to and from school and meeting a new climbing buddy, I am getting more exercise and more time with Lucy. She is getting a good morning nap in the bike cart and is ready to play the day away once we get to her classroom. She really likes to ride in the bike cart and crawls over to it when I ask if she is ready to ride. I think it gives her some mandatory quiet time without feeling like she is being forced to rest. She has conquered the ramp and stairs at school and bates the other babies to join her, which is so very much a mix of Jim's social outgoingness and my desire to be charge :-). It is also just who share is, but it is more fun to say we made her that way. She is busy at school lately that she only fusses for about 30 seconds after I say bye then she is off to make new discoveries and rediscover old ones.

We are headed to Joshua Tree National Park for New Years with a bunch of friends who are flying out from New York. I have decided, as there is no electricity where we are camping, that I am going to pack up the breast pump on December 26. We are going to leave on December 27 and I will happily spend our time there nursing my girl. The pump and I have a good relationship and I am grateful that we are going strong at 10.5 months, but I will not be sad to clean out the tubes, sterilize the flanges and pack that thing up in a box. I may even have a glass of wine since she will be eating food as a primary source of nutrition and having milk as a secondary by then. As all things in parenthood, this is subject to change, but I love a deadline, an end goal and I am happy to have one for this, too.

Ten Months of Tenderness

We recently had friends ask us if we could even remember what life was like before we had our darling girl and were a family of three. We simultaneously and vehemently answered, YES! It is easy to think about rock climbing in Thailand, not packing diapers to go out for dinner and sleeping through the night. In the same breath we agreed that while love having a marriage and partnership based on that life, we couldn't imagine doing anything now without our little lovebug.

Messy hair, don't care.

In addition to loving books, being playful, showing confidence and independence and showering us with love and nuzzles, she gives life a whole different meaning. I have never felt more present in the moment than I do now (and I can write like this today because we have been having some sleep break-throughs!).  When I with her I do my best to notice every little thing about her. Her smile, her inquisitive, exploratory nature, the way she examines everything she encounters. I work hard when I am not with her and take advantage of even five minutes of time to accomplish anything I can so that it doesn't distract me when she wants to read books or play ball.

Developmentally, Lulabee is making forward progress. I can't help but think how overwhelming it is to change so much each day. She is able to use her pointer finger and thumb to pinch small objects (including tiny pieces of flesh, ouch!) and is getting into finger food, although she isn't very interested in gumming food and it can sometimes be found in her mouth an hour later. She recently figured out how to make the uh-uh-uh noise when she taps something against her mouth and her impulse to do this with everything is adorable. She is really getting into playing ball and gets faster at catching it and then throwing back (occasionally in the right direction) every time we play. She is eating pretty much anything we are eating, although she won't in her seat any more. If we go out back and do bird watching/calling while she eats, she can put back the whole bowl of food. So weird.

Little Biscuit is totally into standing now and seems a little disappointed that our house doesn't
provide her with much for doing this. We took her to the Bay Area Discovery Museum this week and she was all over the place...standing, crawling, dancing. Her favorite part of going new places is people watching and medium sized humans astound her with their walking/talking/eating skills. She played in river of water, bounced on a water bed "pond," listen to insect noises and climbed an ant hill. We are so fortunate to live in place with seemingly limitless resources and Jim and I really enjoy taking her on new adventures.

How you get PhD work done with a
teething baby. Nailed it. 

Sometimes I hold my mom's on the way to
school. Aunt Crystal says my mom should be
thankful they are not panties.

In a strange twist of fate, I would like to give three cheers to sleep!!! We have actually gotten some sleep around our house for the past few days. After I wrecked my bike and lost my mind, I took some notes from a dear friend and from Lucy's school. I decided to patiently, lovingly and calmly take back the night. She fights and fights and fights. She wants to explore the world and sleep keeps her from adventures. But just as I choose what she eats and where she goes to school and what diapers to use, I am also in charge of her basic need for sleep. She has nursed to sleep for the past four or five nights, which is just fine with me (easy, peasey, lemon squeezy) but then wakes up and loses her mind 45 minutes later. At school they watch for sleep signals and then hold her close and rock her until she falls asleep. It isn't full proof, but it often works for her (and allllll of the other babies). So the other night I held her close, rocked her and provided her some boundaries for sleep. She was pissed. She yelled at me, close-eyed, no tear yelling. Until she passed out and slept for five hours, nursed and slept even longer. That night she got a total of 14 hours of sleep with only 3 or 4 nursing sessions. Amen. I have kept up the boundary enforcement and, while I HATE to see and hear her upset, everyone is getting what they need and it is taking less and less time every night.

Sleep means everything. Because we are getting more sleep, Lucy and I rode bike to school EVERY day last week (well, except for Wednesday when she was teething with a fever and needed a rest day). I guess we rode 4 days, but still! Sleep=exercise=health=energy=better mom/wife/student/friend. Lucy looks forward to getting in the bike cart and it is a nice way to get to school. I like that she gets some quiet time in before school and she often falls asleep on the way there or the way home.

Nine Months of Nurturing

Lucy gets more amazing every day (with the exception of the whole putting her to sleep is a big game of exhausting antics and I am sure that we have created this stupidly long and tiring process). She has started doing some pretty cool stuff and I continue to be astounded by her development. She clearly signs, with both hands, for milk and even uses the sign when she just wants me sometimes. She has generalized the sign and uses at school as well as at home. I have been waiting for her to start clapping and now that she has she loves it! I have taught her to clap for Jim and me when we pee on the potty and she will even do this now before I do it. So cute :-). She is really into musical instruments and sometimes request that I get them out of the bucket so we can play, dance and sing together. 

Recently she has taken up bird watching as a hobby and seems fascinated by the different sounds birds make and we love to take bird watching walks together. In addition to enjoying swinging at the park, she often likes climbing the steps on the jungle gyms.  Her independent play skills are phenomenal and she sometimes leaves the space we are in to play by her self. She gets really interesting games going and it is easy to tell how much satisfaction she gets from exploring the world around her. She spontaneously started waving to people, animals, birds and inanimate objects, particularly when she is excited to see them. She gives high fives now and also uses this as a greeting. We didn't even really teach her how to this. Like so many other things, she seemed to wake up and just start high fiving everyone!

Little Biscuit is a kissing machine and now gives kisses to animals and people in real life and in books. She often pets a blanket or animal in a book and leans in for a big, wet, sloppy kiss. She is generous with her love and affection (which helps me avoid taking shots of tequila when she won't sleep). She has become obsessed with books and reading and we have been hitting the library for new books weekly. She cried the other day when we had to stop reading so we could leave for school. She prefers to sit in the lap of someone to enjoy stories, but is happy to pull them out of a basket and read them herself. Opening the book and turning the pages still requires the assistance of a medium to big sized human, but she can easily flip through soft books on her own. After 9 months of having no attachment to anything but the nursies, she now really likes her Aden and Anais linen blankets. If she sees one of them she heads right for it and does we call "nuzzles." I like to put one on my shoulder so that I get some secondary nuzzles out of it. 

Crawling as become second nature for our little lovebug. She dives off the bed head first (usually does okay, but sometimes tumbles and lays on her back like a dead bug) and bolts out of the room. We often crawl around the house with her like a family of elephants, which she finds terribly fun and entertaining, and will bait us to follow her like we do to her. It cracks us up.

I have feelings that are new. I am going to share
them with you. This one is "dismay," as in, "I am
dismayed that you won't let me stick my fingers
in the fan while it is on."

School is going well for her and, although she is usually sad when I leave, her lovely teachers and student-teachers usually have her distracted and happy as a clam by the time I peek on her from the outside window. Today Janiciara was reading a story to her while Lulu sat in her lap. Makes my heart melt. 

Lucy (and Mommy) Go To School

B-Dids beside her first ever cubby on her first day of school.

Lucy, Jim and I have not only survived my first three weeks in the Joint Doctoral Program at San Francisco State University and UC Berkeley, but I would confidently say we are all doing very well. We spent a full week adapting to LuLaBee’s new classroom and teachers with at least one us of there with her and it seems to have paid off in spades. Although I will probably always like we left Ithaca without much closure, the decision to get here and get settled before my program started also seems to have made an enormous difference.

In her third week at school, we are getting in a smooth groove and, at the request of her teachers, are getting a pretty consistent routine down. Some days she wakes up early for a morning poo and then naps at home before school, making for a later start, but most days my schedule is flexible enough that I can keep her home for a good rest. She has her first ever little cold, mostly a stuffy nose, and I have been pretty focused on getting her rested up and healthy. Lucy seems to really enjoy going to school and has a positive reaction when we arrive in the mornings, some days squirming out my arms to give her teachers lovies or to get busy playing.

Lucy is tied with another little guy for oldest in the class, but is by far the most mobile and confident. It cracks me up to see a line of little babes following behind her, trying to climb up and down the stairs like she is now doing with ease and confidence. Her teachers, Rizwanna and Janaciara (who are saints…7 infants in one room!!), call her their “7^th Heaven.” Last week while every baby in the room was melting down except for Lucy, she crawled across the room, into the book section and sat and flipped through books on her own until everyone got themselves together. What a darling girl. The fact that she enjoys absolutely melts my heart. Today she cleared some pillows, a teacher and a baby out of her way to crawl over to the ball container, stand up on it, and pull out balls one at a time. She is even shuffling one or two steps left to right while she is standing now. No encouragement is being providing from us in terms of walking, but she seems motivated to be upright and mobile. This evening we took her to a park near our apartment and she climbed up all 11 stairs on the toddle playground three time in a row! Jim and I could hardly believe it.

We usually arrive a bit before I have to take off for class and it is delightful to have time to play with her and watch her in her own little world, built just for humans her size. My supply is doing well and I am grateful for the 8 months of time that we had together with nothing but story time, snuggles and naps on our agenda. My body seems to be producing as much milk as it was before she started eating sold foods, which can be annoying when I don’t actually need to pump, but mostly I am just thankful that this potential stressor has been reduced. There is something in my mind about 10 months that feels good about breastfeeding. It seems like it should be smooth sailing until then. The pumping stations on both campuses are adequate and I am really only having to pump once in the morning at home and (usually) on a day in between classes. While I think I will be sad when the nursies are over, I won’t be sorry I am not carrying my pump around with me everywhere I go!

How to get work done with a sleeping babe
strapped to your chest. Snuggles and studies.

It also feels great to engage in conversations about topics that seemed like they only existed in another life three weeks ago. Each day I am less distracted by how much I miss my girl when I see her so happy at school. I absolutely hate waiting to see her on my way to pick her up each day, but even the commute to and from SFSU is getting easier. Jim, “Daga,” picks her up from school on Wednesday and this is important time for them, too. When I was a kid it was always special when dad showed up and always expected when mom was there. I hope Lucy sees the presence of us both as normal, everyday stuff. Class is actually interesting and my course load is not nearly as brutal as I was anticipating. The fabulous part about the intellectual community of UC Berkeley is that learning is self-motivated. If you want to take more class, you can. You can even take classes at Stanford, but if you want to see your daughter more than you want a 4.0, everyone thinks that is great, too. My emotions have been a bit of a roller coaster, especially since LuBug got her first cold, but we are going to do this. And it is going to be great.

Part of our success has been my micro-management of our household organization. We are prepping meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) on Sundays to the fullest extent possible. This leaves evening time for family time and I am working hard on being present in the moment as soon as I leave campus and pick up my girl. One of things I miss most from the past eight, foot-loose and fancy-free months is living in the moment. Now I am feeling like I am always preparing for the next step. I think this will relax over time, but right now it is working exceptionally well so we are going to keep it up. Jim has been helpful supportive around the house, with our sweet little babe and with my never ending ups and downs about whether or not we are ruining our daughter’s life J. He may leave black socks all over creation, but he is a rock and I wouldn’t want to do this without him. In fact, I don’t think I would do this without him.

Hora de Recreo (Playtime)

Balls in a muffin tin and rubber bands on a
bread pan...endless exploration.

Tugging box, a mom special.

Sticky noodles...not her
(or my) favorite.

 Lucy gets bored with her stuff more quickly than I ever would have expected. To try to save our bank account and keep life interesting we take lots of field trips to new spaces, even if it is just a park to watch older kids play. Lucy has become particularly popular at our neighborhood park when we pull out a blanket and cover it in toys. Little ones who want to participate in playground play think a blanket with small goodies is the cat's meow. We are happy to share for a few reasons: Lucy likes meeting new people, it is good for her to interact with other small humans and I, selfishly, use this tactic to meet other parents in a non-awkward, more natural way.

Water play outside in the shared green space.

Pinterest is still one of my favorite ways to waste precious baby is sleeping time and I get a real kick out of making things for her. We also do simple, but varied activities like filling a tub with warm water in the back courtyard and exploring cooked noodles on a shower curtain outside. Jim is finally starting to enjoy spending time playing with her and the more creative we get the more fun everyone has.

Eight Months of Awesome

Lucy started "saying" mama this morning. Many times. On video and for her Daga at lunch (proof and a witness). I am not sure if she is relating this to me or not, but a little tear trickled down my face when I was sure that mama was coming out of her little mouth in the sweetest, softest most beautiful voice I have ever heard. Be still my little heart.

At 8 months old she is learning and doing a gillion new things. Of course this is obvious to us, as we assume everything she accomplishes is super advanced. Most recently we have noticed that she is holding an object in both hands now. She seems pretty excited that there are two different items for eating at the same time. As soon as she started crawling she woke up and decided she is ready to stand, which makes one out of three members of our family ready for this step. She is pushing up on our legs, on chairs, on blocks, on boxes..anything she can get her hands on. We are attempting to teach her to slide backwards off of furniture and our bed so that she can land on her feet and she gets a pretty big kick out of her feet hitting the floor. Oh, the little things in life :-). No teeth yet and a happy nursing mama for the late arrival of impending boobie slicers. She is crushing solid foods and the list of foods she has tried/liked is so long that even her teachers are impressed with her. Like I said, advanced baby. 

Speaking of her teachers, Little Miss starts "school" on Monday. She has her own little cubby, diaper cabinet and space in the pantry. We have been doing short visits together this week (after I begged and pleaded and weaseled my way in the room). Her teachers seem lovely thus far and happy to have attempt a smooth transition. Lucy seems content there and looks to me for reassurance often while we visit with her new classmates. She adapts to new environments fairly quickly so I have no doubt that she will do well at school, too. I just wish she didn't have be there for so many hours a day. I am feeling good, not good, terrible, wait...really great...and not so great about starting my program all at the same time. She definitely needs more than just me in her day, but I would also shove her back in my uterus and take her to class with me if I could stand to miss out on her smile and her little "mamas."  Since I can't, I am going to frequent her classroom and provide as many opportunities for nursies as possible. I am sure she won't mind and her teachers encourage it.  So far I don't have class on Mondays or Fridays, so I am hoping to keep those days short for her and get a ton of work accomplished while she is at the childcare center. Then when I pick her up we can just play, play, nurse, eat, play, nurse and nurse. 

Jim doesn't say many sweet things. I mean, he is darling and I love him so deeply I can hardly stand it sometimes, but I didn't marry him because he is Mr. Romantic. He did say to me this week when I was having one of MANY moments of doubt that me going back to school for a PhD is a game changer for Lucy. She will get to have a mommy who has her own thing going on in addition to being enthralled with her daughter and that it is so important for her to have me as her role model in that way. He also sees the value in being a full-time mom, but this is the path we have chosen as a family and I do believe it will beneficial to all of us. If it is not, we will regroup, reassess and make new decisions. 

Wriggle, Slither, Rock and Crawl!

Last night LuBear had a difficult falling asleep. I mentioned to Jim that it seemed like she just couldn't calm her body down. She was rolling over onto her belly and pushing her feet on my legs whilst nursing in bed. She ended up being up until 10:15 and then up again at 11:00.

Sure enough, she woke up on the early side this morning and we sat down to play then, crawling! She just pushed up and went for it. Hard work pays off!

A Change of Pace

Climbing has definitely been more challenging with a Lucy than without a Lucy. It will be easier when establish a climbing crew here, but it is possible with just the two of us. I strap her on my chest and now she is big enough to ride in the backpack, and we set a belay that is independent of the belayer in case the belayer (usually me) needs to escape the belay. We try to find places with moderate approaches, single pitch and lead or top rope. I mostly belay based on Lucy's need/desire to nurse and sleep on me, but if I get one climb in I am a happy mama. It is a thrill just to get out there and explore all of our new territory, so I try to take things as they are and accept whatever Lucy brings along for the day. Luckily she is champion nurser and we don't have to deal with bottles out in the woods. If we are fortunate enough to have a third belayer in our group, Jim and I act as one climber and the third person gets to climb as much as if he/she was in a group of two. We just met some fellow parent-climbers yesterday at the gym. It sounds like we are going to be able to connect with them and see if we can get some ropes up outside.


Hiking is easy peasy. Pack the kid up, bring your boobs, strap a light weight yoga mat to your day pack to make nursing and leg stretching more comfy for everyone and you are on your way. We did a 7 miler in Flagstaff. Lucy was done being strapped to my chest we when were done. I was wishing we had an ergo 360 or another carrier that had more options. It would be even better with her in the back backpack now.

We are loving biking. We got a Burley Bee on craigslist, found the infant seat for it at an REI garage sale (we live in walking distance to REI. THey are currently receiving a lot of our funds :-), and my at one time super awesome, expensive mountain bike now has a mom seat, a rear view mirror and a kickstand.  Lucy almost always falls asleep and if she isn't sleeping she is chatting away, chewing on something and looking around. I worry a bit about all the bumpiness to her growing brain, but we have specific streets called bicycle boulevards that are nicely paved and have barriers every so often to discourage cars from taking them, so we feel pretty safe.

Basically, it all changed for us, but haven't given anything up. We are climbing at the gym twice a week while Lucy spends an hour in the childcare center there. I only climb for that hour, but then we come home for a bath and Jim stays until his heart's content. Is that perfect? No...but it sure as hell is better than waiting until she is a teenager to be healthy, have fun and connect with my husband. It can't be the same as it used to be and I don't want it to be. That would mean no Lucy and she is remarkable. I definitely have moments, mostly around the 3am mark, that I wish we could pack up and head back to Thailand, but that will come in time. And we get to share those times with her now, which makes missing out on some fun now completely worth it.

I will say this. I have been biking, up hill 3.5 miles, to the YMCA with Lucy at least two-three days a week for the past couple of weeks. I have been focusing on regaining strength so lots of squats, wall sits, planks and pull-ups, etc...I only workout for half an hour, but it is so refreshing and rebuilding. I no longer have guilt at putting her child watch for a short time. She has fun with the other kids and grown-ups in there anyway. My back hurts less, my baby dispenser is feeling stronger and more "normal" and I have so much more energy for Lucy. It took a while to get in a routine, but it has been the smartest thing I could do for everyone in our family. I sometimes even get to shower when we get home. And, today, I dried my hair for the fourth day in a row. Watch out. We are about to take over the world. Well, at least take back over my own body :-).