What an incredible whirlwind this semester has been. I have put off writing a blog post much longer than I wanted to, but I took and passed my qualifying exam on November 30. This is likely the most challenging and anxiety provoking milestone I will face in my doctoral program. The semester started with about 24 hours of childcare for Cooper while Lucy was at Nia House and it quickly became clear that much more was needed. I added a day of care with a babysitter and started studying every Saturday and Sunday morning for about the past three months. It was extremely stressful. Everyone in our family was feeling the effects of my absence and stress level. Now that it is over I feel so much more like myself again. My list of "to dos" feels a mile long after putting off so much during preparation for the exam and the holiday season means even more to think about. Hopefully, I will re-strike a balance of self-care, spending time with my kids, reconnecting with Jim, and getting our tiny apartment under control again. Just as we were settling in to being a family of four, I set a date for the exam, so we really haven't had much of a chance to find a new normal after welcoming Cooper into the fold. I have dropped 8 hours a week of childcare and am spending weekends with my family. I'm also trying to get healthy and fit again after having a c-section and trying desperately to find a place in our small apartment for the needs and wants of our growing family. It's a balancing act and one that I am grateful to be working on. I can remember so clearly when I started my program that passing the qualifying exam seemed all but impossible. And now "all" I have left is my dissertation proposal and then the dissertation itself. It is officially too late to quit the program, which I have wanted to do at least once a day since I started. Looks like it's onward to graduation!
I hardly know where to begin with an update on Lucy and Cooper. I'll start with Cooper because his growth and change over the past few months is easy to observe and measure. He mastered army crawling around 6.5 months and quickly transitioned to crawling on all fours with a funny little right foot push left over from the army crawl right around 7 months. He wants to keep up with Lucy and army crawling just was not doing it for him. Even though he was fully mobile, it took him a little while to figure out how to go from crawling to sitting back up and going back down. In the meantime, he did we what called "floating," which looked like he was a was in yoga class doing the move where you bounce your arms and feet at the same time while fully extended. And this meant "I'm stuck! Pick me up!" Now that he can sit back up and go cruising around (or out of) our apartment. He is often content to go around exploring each room, even by himself, and dumping out/over everything in his path. Unlike our cautious Lucy, he bolts for the door as soon as it is open and will go speeding right out if allowed. He would prefer to always be outside given the chance. Cooper has been enjoying and insisting on standing for a few months now, but he is pulling himself up on EVERYTHING....the bed, the couch, his works shelf, the learning tower, kitchen chairs, his pull-up bar in the living room, his sister, his parents, the bathtub. He is physically highly motivated and daring. He will go plunging straight off a couch or bed head first (again, Lucy knew where the edge was and seemed aware of the consequences of going it very early on). We knew we had it physically easy with Lucy, but this guy is a lot more work in that respect!
In addition to loving movement and socializing (which he needs and wants more of!), he continues to be an eating machine. He still loves milk, but he devours anything that is put in front of him. I am giving him a lot more finger foods than I ever did with Lucy and he loves it. Everything from cantaloupe to raspberries to boiled egg white. Transitioning to an almost 50/50 balance of milk and solid food has made predicting his schedule much easier, which reduces stress and anxiety all the way around. We finally found a nanny for Cooper for next semester until he starts at Nia House on August 1 of 2019. It should be much easier to describe his needs and schedule this time than it was in August of this past fall. He sleeps, milks, plays, eats, plays, sleeps. These things rarely happen at exactly the same time, but they are quite predictable. He sleeps two naps and nights in his bed and puts himself to sleep. Coop will be almost 10 months old by the time the Spring semester starts and that means only two more months of pumping for me after the break. I will need to pump some between now and then, but not nearly as much as I have been. Baby logistics change so quickly and require so much attention. I really didn't remember just how much planning and coordinating it all takes and I'm grateful to be coming out on the other side of the infant stage.
Although he puts everything in his path in his mouth, he is now exploring materials with more curiosity and focus. We spent a spontaneous and lovely weekend at Lake Tahoe to escape a thick cover of long-lasting wildfire smoke a few weeks ago and took Lucy and Coop swimming. Cooper loved bamming and splashing in the water, and of course, loved watching his sister and dad swim. But he also spent a long time playing with a succession of small fountains sprouting out from the pool wall. He seemed to be experimenting with them, pressing one of them, using one hand, then two, then letting go, moving from one fountain over to the next. It was the most I had seen him focus on one activity. It was really fun and a clear indicator that he won't be a baby for much longer. He is independent and adventurous, and very social. He doesn't seem to get overwhelmed with crowds and will let anyone hold him and talk to him, the exact opposite of Lucy. Yesterday for the first time, Coopey "called" to me from the living room while I was preparing lunch. He was sitting on the floor with a book in his lap baiting me to read with him. My heart melted. I know I have spent much less time reading with him than I did Lucy and I have been so nervous that he won't love books and words. Time will tell, but I was thrilled. Every day I look at my kids and wonder just how much of their little beings is nature and how much is nurture. If Lucy had been our second, would roles be reversed? Obviously, we will never know, but I do know I love being their mom.
On that same trip to Tahoe, I enjoyed Lucy's company in a way I hadn't since I started studying for the exam. My physical and mental absence was taking a toll on her and she was showing us that through her behavior. But when we were away from our "real lives" she was an absolute delight. She doesn't have to be a delight. She gets to be herself. In our small apartment, though, giving her the physical space she craves to experience her big emotions and spread out her imaginary play that lasts for days and sometimes weeks is hard, especially with a crawling brother. In two story condo, she could be loud upstairs and Cooper could sleep soundly downstairs. And then there are the trees and the woods and the fresh air. She can spend forever out in the woods without a single toy and be so content. Again, now that my exam is over and Cooper is older, we will get back out into the wilderness. We all need it. She made elaborate games of cooking and being a doctor and caring for her patients with her cockney sand/stick/rock/pine needle soup. I just sat beside her in the sand all morning long playing and following her lead. We even had the chance to (finally) put her on skis! It was 60 degrees and sunny and lovely out, but Northstar, where we stayed, had been making snow for weeks in anticipation of the opening weekend. We pushed an overflowing stroller right onto a free gondola, walked in t-shirts out to the kiddie slope, and she happily strapped on ski boots and skis. She has wanted to ski for so long and teaching her how while we wore sneakers and weren't pining to ski ourselves was absolutely perfect. Lucy had a fantastic time and was quite a natural little skier. It was so fun to get a glimpse of what skiing with her maybe like some day. It is so wonderful that she loves so many of the things we love. We are all looking forward to cruising around the mountain together someday, apparently not too far from now.
Recently Lou has been enjoying listening to audiobooks and has gotten really into the Rainbow Magic Fairies series. The series is a chapter book collection aimed at second graders, but she loves them and is learning and using tons of vocabulary from them. We found some at the library and I got to read her first ever chapter book with her. I think this means we are ready for some books like Charlotte's Web and soon American Girls and Little House! It's hard to believe we are already there, but it sure is a fun stage. She is playing less and less with the toys and works I have around our apartment. She is spending more and more time creating games and doing projects. She has been really into dolls and pretend play. The other day in the tub I heard her tell her water baby, "Now BabyCita, I know playing in the water is fun, but it's time to do your work." She has also started to enjoy Cooper more as he becomes human-like to her. I have a feeling we are going to be in trouble in a year from now. They already sit at the table and make each other laugh while they should be eating. Cooper thinks Lucy is a gift from the Heaven's and wants to be near her all the time. We have been working on her communicating with him to teach him and asking a grown-up for help instead of throwing him off of her or grabbing something out of his hand. She is working on it. And we have to remember to be patient with them both. Luckily Cooper is pretty hearty and likes to be dragged around, so I'm not as worried about his feelings getting hurt as I was with Lucy. But it can be hard to see her be unkind to him when he is just a little baby.
Last week we had a parent-teacher conference with Lucy's teacher, Ayako. Lucy is doing very well in school. She has started to give presentations of works to younger children and has special jobs to do during rest time. She is being invited to listen to chapter books with the older kids since she doesn't actually sleep during rest time and Ayako says her comprehension is strong. The works she has been bringing home lately have been much more sophisticated, like the layers of the Earth and stenciled shapes with multiple colors inside. She is very interested in counting, reading, and writing. We won't push her into it, but she is craving opportunities to practice. The other day she even told Jim, "not to antagonize" her. I was so proud. Ayako also says she is receptive when her peers send her messages and she respects their boundaries in ways that her peers don't even do for her. She has lots of friends and can play with lots of different children on the yard and in the classroom. I'm so grateful for Nia House and for the opportunities they provide for Lucy. It is such a perfect fit for our family.
I hardly know where to begin with an update on Lucy and Cooper. I'll start with Cooper because his growth and change over the past few months is easy to observe and measure. He mastered army crawling around 6.5 months and quickly transitioned to crawling on all fours with a funny little right foot push left over from the army crawl right around 7 months. He wants to keep up with Lucy and army crawling just was not doing it for him. Even though he was fully mobile, it took him a little while to figure out how to go from crawling to sitting back up and going back down. In the meantime, he did we what called "floating," which looked like he was a was in yoga class doing the move where you bounce your arms and feet at the same time while fully extended. And this meant "I'm stuck! Pick me up!" Now that he can sit back up and go cruising around (or out of) our apartment. He is often content to go around exploring each room, even by himself, and dumping out/over everything in his path. Unlike our cautious Lucy, he bolts for the door as soon as it is open and will go speeding right out if allowed. He would prefer to always be outside given the chance. Cooper has been enjoying and insisting on standing for a few months now, but he is pulling himself up on EVERYTHING....the bed, the couch, his works shelf, the learning tower, kitchen chairs, his pull-up bar in the living room, his sister, his parents, the bathtub. He is physically highly motivated and daring. He will go plunging straight off a couch or bed head first (again, Lucy knew where the edge was and seemed aware of the consequences of going it very early on). We knew we had it physically easy with Lucy, but this guy is a lot more work in that respect!
