Immunizations and Outings

Lucy got her first round of immunizations last week. Clearly Jim and I are on board with public health. I wish I had more knowledge about the ingredients of each one, but there is only so much two parents not in the medical field can do. At the end of the day, vaccinations have completely or nearly eradicated many diseases in this country. Lucy got one oral vaccine and three by shot. She didn't seem phased by the first shot, but the second and third shot sent her through the roof. She screamed. Not like, "mommy please feed me" or "I would really prefer to be sleeping but won't" crying. I am talking blood curdling screaming. It was the worst sound I have ever, every heard in my life. The sound of your own baby in that much pain and fear was excruciating. I am thankful she finds comfort in my breasts and in me, but even this wasn't of much help for about ten minutes. We were both exhausted afterward and Lucy got loads of snuggles and love for the next few days. She did have a low-grade fever for about two and half days which made her a bit lethargic and craving mommy more than usual, although she was smiley and pleasant to boot. I DREAD the next round of shots and would pay a large out-of-pocket sum to have someone invent pain free infant shots before then.

 I have been attempting to get out of the house with her more just around town to see if we can associate riding in the car seat in the car with positive feelings. The week went really well (after shot recovery). I even got to run (using "run" VERY lightly here) at Planet Fitness while Jim walked with Lucy in the Moby Wrap. Same set-up for swimming at the gym a second time, which feels so incredibly good. As she is getting older I am getting more comfortable with him in Jim's care, which makes trying to do the car ride more manageable. Yesterday we went to our first "new moms group" at Jillian's Drawers on the Commons in Ithaca. Little bit slept through most of it on my shoulder, but seemed to enjoy looking around at the other babies when she was awake. I got to talk about sleep troubles, poop, boobs and bottles to my hearts content with people who understand completely and don't tire of the subject. It was much more beneficial than I thought it was going to be, Lucy did well in the car and at the group and we got to have a change of scenery. Hopefully we will make it back next week.

The Goose is changing so much every day. When we went to the gym last week so I could swim I nursed her before I left and then we made it the whole way home with having to nurse again. It felt like we had conquered Everest! She is fully in 3 month clothing now and starting to fill it out. She loves to grasp her hands together and find her way to her mouth. That sweet, amazing smile is turning into a laugh and she loves to have a conversation if you give her your full attention. She has recently gone to one-two bm's every 24 hours (which causes some unpleasant gas for her around 4:00 a.m. usually and freaks me out) which is another sign of a maturing internal system. One of my favorite new things she does is "holding my hand" while I feed her. I absolutely melt every time. She weighed in at 9 pounds 8 ounces at her 8 month check-up and I would swear she already weighs a full 10 pounds. And, she took about 3/4 of an ounce of milk from a bottle with Jim last Sunday. We all hated it, but it is important that she gets introduced to it in non-stressful ways in the case that she would need to take it.

Speaking of bottles, I still haven't heard back from my job about the prospect of job sharing. A good friend of ours put it well. Employers complain that they can't find competent, motivated, hard-working employees. Then, we one of these said employees becomes a parent, they would rather lose that employee than think creatively about the situation so that parenting can be number one and the job can be a close second. When babies have the chance to grow strongly and confidently they are more likely to experience school success, attain appropriate social skills, be a kind and generous person, etc, etc, etc. And then the fact that I have to consider losing my health insurance because I may not go back to work just puts me right over the cliff edge. I just cannot figure out how health insurance and my professional life are so closely married. Mad, mad, mad. And now it has been almost three weeks since I had the conversation with my employer about potential options for my transition back to work and I haven't heard back. This makes child care, bottles, etc...so much more stressful than they already are. And to think, womens lib already happened?!?!

On the other hand, I am upset about going back to work because I love being Lucy's mommy so much it hurts sometimes. When she wakes up and tells me all about her dreams from the night and her plans from the day I can't imagine handing her off to someone else for the day. I know a caregiver would fall in love with her as I did with so many little one's over my many years of babysitting, but no one can love this baby like her mama.

Two Months of Pure Joy

Lucy is two months old!

Some things she likes:

• She recently found her hands, fingers and wrists and loves to suck on them
• Breastfeeding
• Being held (by pretty much anyone, but especially mama and daddy bear)
• Smiling
• The crazy, high-pitched lovey voice
• Yoga
• Massages
• Starting to enjoy baths
• Being worn by her parents and going for a walk outside
• Being burped
• Singing and dancing
• Shel Silverstein poems
• Sleeping with mommy
• Snuggling 

Some things she doesn't like:

• Riding in the car
• Not being held for more than 10 minutes
• Pacifiers :-(
• Wet diapers
• Bare hands on her naked back 
• Forehead rubs
• Clothing pulled over her head

Some things she has learned in the past week:

• Eye rubbing when she is tired
• Sucking on her hand and wrist is fun
• Mommy will hold her head while she sleeps in the Moby wrap if she refuses to rest it on Mommy's chest
• The grown-ups like when I smile and will keep talking crazy if I do it more than once

Lucy Meets the Hosker Family (and many other tales)

It seems like Lucy has done nothing but grow for the past few weeks. She showed us just how patient and content she can be on our to and from California to meet her Aunt Crystal, Uncle Tim and her four cousins for the first time. I was EXTREMELY worried about germs after 8 airports and 6 flights, but this breastfed baby is going strong after being home for over a week. Although our visit was short, we had a great time. Miss Lucy got to be in the sunshine and fresh air without full coverage for the first time in her life. She laid on a blanket with Auntie Crystal and Uncle Tim while Gim and I played on the playground with the big girls. She seemed very adaptable and never stressed about new environments and situations. She enjoyed being read to by all of the girls and receiving their snuggles. In hind sight it was probably crazy to take a six week old across the country, but it was well worth it. That will probably be the easiest cross country trip of our lives with her considering she is not yet mobile and thinks my chest is the most interesting place in the world. 

McGooster is now really maintaining eye contact with not only Jim and I, but with anyone who is holding her and willing to talk in the embarrassingly high pitched mommy voice babies love so much. She is DEFINITELY smiling intentionally now and learning that if she smiles we get even crazier over her and that if she does it again, the whole world is about her. She is started to get along better with her tummy and we are figuring out how to help her. Baby yoga, massage and adequate sleep all make an enormous difference. Her epiglottis is still giving her a hard time and it is just awful to watch. She starts to gag so badly sometimes that she can't catch her breath. All three of us have a chiropractor appointment on Friday and I am hoping that can help things flow more smoothly. I am also giving her infant probiotics daily. The jury is still out on whether or not this is actually helpful or beneficial.

Lucy wearing the outfit Daddy Bear wore
home when he was born.

The car seat. Good golly the car seat. It took us three hours to get home the rock climbing gym in Syracuse on Sunday. THREE HOURS. In a five minute time span she got so worked up that she threw up twice. It is absolutely excruciating for all three of us. We stop as soon as we can, give snuggles, change her diaper, nurse her, more snuggles. Because we have to eventually make it home, I put her back in the seat (and I am so contorted I might as well be in there with her) and before we have a chance to get to the next exit, she is distraught. This doesn't happen every time (although it certainly does feel like it). It is making me want to stay in the house and never go any where, which is just not a healthy option for anyone in our family. We are going to try to associate a song with good feelings in the house, then in the seat in the house, then the seat in the car. We are also going to get a car seat blanket that I will sleep with for a few nights and see if my scent helps her (as if she can't smell me when I am smushed up against her in the seat). I have been reading Sweet Sleep and believe that Lucy falls into the highly sensitive, highly adaptable temperament (among others). She doesn't seem to get stressed out about being in a new place, but she does hate getting there. She seems to get car seat fatigue from her high sensitivity levels. If there was one thing I did not want to pass to her, it is my heightened sensitivity for all things. We do not plan to treat her any differently and give her a self-fulling prophecy over my intuition, but we do want to be aware of her needs based on this observation. Hopefully this gets better. For now, we are not going any where in the car seat outside of a one hour radius. A two drive could take five hours! Not worth it.

Last weekend we were lucky enough to have a visit from Aunt Tracy. She picked out Lucy's outfits and helped give her a war evening massage. We even got to bundle up and go down to ChiliFest on the Commons. It was a really nice weekend and all three of us are thankful that Aunt Tracy could meet Lucy before she got to grown up on us.

We had lunch today with Judy Hoffman, which was a wonderful treat. Because of the terribly cold, snowy weather and the whole car seat issue we haven't been going much of any where. I also wanted her to have a nice long, comforting break at home when we got back from CA (more for me than her?). Judy offered to come here, but we met at Carriage House Cafe, which is just 1.5 miles from our house. Lucy fell asleep in the seat and stayed that way for about 45 minutes. This mama is baffled. On any account, it was great to see such a great friend and to have her spoil Lucy with some love. We talked about lots of mommy issues, like my new and sudden fear of dying from a blood clot or car accident. Apparently I am not alone in my-crazy, home alone all day, I am doing everything I can for baby-brain.  I am meeting with my boss on Thursday to discuss transitioning back to work options. I am hopeful that that conversation will help me organize my thoughts on work, scheduling, childcare, bottles, etc...


I was able to  swim for the first time since the evening before i went into labor this evening (lifting is out of the question currently due a prolapsed bladder- awesome). Jim was darling enough to meet me at the gym so I could nurse Lucy and immediately pass her to him. I swam 50 lengths which is less than my pregnancy mile swims, but we had to time things just right for nursing because I haven't been able to convince myself to try a bottle with the Sweet Potato just yet. She abhors a pacifier. I can't imagine she will love a bottle. She does love her daddy bear and being walked riding in the Ergo so it worked out perfectly. The lifeguard watched my phone for me and the front desk folks were ready to come get me. It felt great, though, and I am grateful for my husband and his willingness to gentlty support me.

By my persuasion Jim and I have decided not to "sleep train" Lucy. We have started something of a bed time routine around 8:00pm to try to get her to bed before 11:00, which seems to be going well. We start with a little baby wearing while I "putz" around the house doing normal things and basically ignoring her fussing and just letting her blow of steam while close to mommy. Sometimes she falls asleep for a cat nap and once the sleep endorphins are going I can nurse her to sleep in bed and there she stays. Other times she nurses once I get her out of the baby wear-carrier and give her a massage with dimmed lights and some singing followed by nursing. (Most of my activities begin and/or end with nursing :-). If she is still futzy we have been bundling up and taking a short walk through the neighborhood, which works almost every time. Again, sleep endorphins engaged, I take her out of the wrap and nurse her to sleep in bed. Last night she feel asleep for the cat nap at 8:30 and we were both sound asleep in the bed by 10:45, which is a much earlier than 11:30/12:00 for the first cat nap. This seems to be making everyone happier and better rested. Lucy tends to sleep better and longer at night if we can get her there before she is overtired and then exhausted.

We are learning from each other more and more every day. We put one foot in front of the other, drink in every moment of the bliss and imagine how life ever was without Lucy.