Immunizations and Outings

Lucy got her first round of immunizations last week. Clearly Jim and I are on board with public health. I wish I had more knowledge about the ingredients of each one, but there is only so much two parents not in the medical field can do. At the end of the day, vaccinations have completely or nearly eradicated many diseases in this country. Lucy got one oral vaccine and three by shot. She didn't seem phased by the first shot, but the second and third shot sent her through the roof. She screamed. Not like, "mommy please feed me" or "I would really prefer to be sleeping but won't" crying. I am talking blood curdling screaming. It was the worst sound I have ever, every heard in my life. The sound of your own baby in that much pain and fear was excruciating. I am thankful she finds comfort in my breasts and in me, but even this wasn't of much help for about ten minutes. We were both exhausted afterward and Lucy got loads of snuggles and love for the next few days. She did have a low-grade fever for about two and half days which made her a bit lethargic and craving mommy more than usual, although she was smiley and pleasant to boot. I DREAD the next round of shots and would pay a large out-of-pocket sum to have someone invent pain free infant shots before then.

 I have been attempting to get out of the house with her more just around town to see if we can associate riding in the car seat in the car with positive feelings. The week went really well (after shot recovery). I even got to run (using "run" VERY lightly here) at Planet Fitness while Jim walked with Lucy in the Moby Wrap. Same set-up for swimming at the gym a second time, which feels so incredibly good. As she is getting older I am getting more comfortable with him in Jim's care, which makes trying to do the car ride more manageable. Yesterday we went to our first "new moms group" at Jillian's Drawers on the Commons in Ithaca. Little bit slept through most of it on my shoulder, but seemed to enjoy looking around at the other babies when she was awake. I got to talk about sleep troubles, poop, boobs and bottles to my hearts content with people who understand completely and don't tire of the subject. It was much more beneficial than I thought it was going to be, Lucy did well in the car and at the group and we got to have a change of scenery. Hopefully we will make it back next week.

The Goose is changing so much every day. When we went to the gym last week so I could swim I nursed her before I left and then we made it the whole way home with having to nurse again. It felt like we had conquered Everest! She is fully in 3 month clothing now and starting to fill it out. She loves to grasp her hands together and find her way to her mouth. That sweet, amazing smile is turning into a laugh and she loves to have a conversation if you give her your full attention. She has recently gone to one-two bm's every 24 hours (which causes some unpleasant gas for her around 4:00 a.m. usually and freaks me out) which is another sign of a maturing internal system. One of my favorite new things she does is "holding my hand" while I feed her. I absolutely melt every time. She weighed in at 9 pounds 8 ounces at her 8 month check-up and I would swear she already weighs a full 10 pounds. And, she took about 3/4 of an ounce of milk from a bottle with Jim last Sunday. We all hated it, but it is important that she gets introduced to it in non-stressful ways in the case that she would need to take it.

Speaking of bottles, I still haven't heard back from my job about the prospect of job sharing. A good friend of ours put it well. Employers complain that they can't find competent, motivated, hard-working employees. Then, we one of these said employees becomes a parent, they would rather lose that employee than think creatively about the situation so that parenting can be number one and the job can be a close second. When babies have the chance to grow strongly and confidently they are more likely to experience school success, attain appropriate social skills, be a kind and generous person, etc, etc, etc. And then the fact that I have to consider losing my health insurance because I may not go back to work just puts me right over the cliff edge. I just cannot figure out how health insurance and my professional life are so closely married. Mad, mad, mad. And now it has been almost three weeks since I had the conversation with my employer about potential options for my transition back to work and I haven't heard back. This makes child care, bottles, etc...so much more stressful than they already are. And to think, womens lib already happened?!?!

On the other hand, I am upset about going back to work because I love being Lucy's mommy so much it hurts sometimes. When she wakes up and tells me all about her dreams from the night and her plans from the day I can't imagine handing her off to someone else for the day. I know a caregiver would fall in love with her as I did with so many little one's over my many years of babysitting, but no one can love this baby like her mama.