(Sadly, this is going to be a much shorter, much less
creative version of the original post. Somehow all of the content from my
original post got deleted. After having a tantrum and wasting 45 minutes trying
to recover it, I have decided it is important enough to me to start over and
get some of Lucy’s milestones and memories in written form.)
Bed. The first “b” of this post. After 15 months
experiencing one of the most worrisome and beautiful parts of motherhood, we
are on the far end of this time. Lucy is completely night weened and doesn’t
even ask for milk in the middle of the night any more. This was not
accomplished without a major protest from her and me giving in many times to
try for a little more sleep. Once I realized that she wasn’t nursing and it wasn’t
helping anyone get anymore sleep, I completely stopped. Like so many other
parenting decisions, this wasn’t something I decided consciously before bed one
night. She woke up, asked for milk and I calmly and gently told her it wasn’t
time and that once we all got some more rest she could have milk. It was a
rough go for a few nights, but then the most magical thing happened. She slept
through the night. She started sleeping from 7:30/8:00 p.m. until 3:00 a.m. And
then 4, and then 5 and then 7 in the morning! Sleep is like coffee. No, it is
better than coffee and chocolate. We both wake up on those feelings joyful and
ready to conquer anything that gets thrown at us. Lucy is chipper and
delightful and I have patience in spades. It is been a long time coming, but I
am grateful that I/we had the patience to get her to this point without putting
her in a crib and letting her cry 
alone.
Breastfeeding: Another “b.” A summary of breastfeeding my
darling girl, from conception to the present: “Will I have enough milk? What if
she needs formula? I don’t want her to have formula! Okay, I am have some ideas
about what formula she could have. Wait, I am only 5 months pregnant and
already making milk. Good. One less worry. But what if she doesn’t want to
nurse? Or we aren’t good at it? I don’t want that to happen. But then she can
have formula. I’ll do more research on that. Lucy latches 45 minutes after
coming into the world. Sigh of relief. But I am doing it right? Is it ever
going to stop hurting? Will we ever get comfortable? I am so tired. Maybe she
just have one bottle. NO!!! Then she might have nipple confusion and not take
the breast again. And now I have TONS of milk. Better build up a freezer stash
in case she has nipple confusion again so I don’t have to give her formula. But
how do I get all this frozen milk to California when we move? Dry ice? Ship it?
Have it shipped after we get there? Too crazy. Give it to a friend and pump
more when you get to Cali. But now we are here and I don’t have any freezer
milk! Get up early to pump and start freezing. Supply has dropped due to now
pumping for a month.
INCREASE SUPPLY!!!! Oh no, need
me for anything and she has needed from the moment of conception. But this is a
good thing. Growing and developing a strong, independent young lady is our
goal. So my milk has leveled out, she nurses 2-3 times a day now, has started
telling me now to nursies before bed and would rather read books than have
milk. My darling girl. I am so proud of the two of us. We did so well in a
culture that encourages us to quit this part of the adventure by 6 or 12 weeks.
Hats off to us. But you can still have milk whenever you want it.”
Donate the rest of the
freezer supply before it goes bad. Feel pleased and grateful that three babies
have now gotten sustenance from my milk supply. But what about my girl? What if she needs more? Wait, she is 15 months now. She doesn’t even need milk at night. And she has started biting my nipples. Hard, really hard. And making the end of our breastfeeding relationship feel sour and stressful. Maybe she is telling me she is done? Good. I can have my body completely back. No more hand expressing in the shower at the gym and no more night nursies. But, my baby. If she stops nursing she literally doesn’t
Biting: The third “b” of this post. It is terrible and
painful and I hate. It is perfectly developmentally appropriate, but she has
all four of her front teeth now and those little daggers are sharp! It is
another sign that she is growing and changing each day, a sign that she is
becoming more independent and less interesting in laying in her mum mum’s lap.
She is completely upright now. Walking all over the place! For me, this is a
huge leap in development and she understands a bit of the freedom that comes
along with it. She loves to hop like a frog, dance to music and take off out
the front door, though she doesn’t go far J.
Books, ball, boat: More “b’s.” In addition to her physical
development of walking and teeth, her vocabulary is exploding. It isn’t
surprising that she has been awake every 60-75 minutes the past three nights
(yes, just after she spent two weeks sleeping mostly through the night). Her brain
must be a lively bastion of creativity and processing right now. She has
mastered the b sound and, it turns out, that many objects in her world start
with b. Her newest word is “bibi” which is how she asks for books. And this is
the most popular item to ask for at our house. 
We are going to the library at
least once a week to get new books, mostly for the sanity of the readers of
said books, and she will sit on a lap and read books all day long. Recently I
have watched and listened from afar while she sits on her new little comfy
chair and babbles while looking at the pages in the book. She is reading books
independently. Be still my little heart. She has started identifying more
objects in books, too. Yesterday she pointed to a boat and said her rendition
of this b word for the first time. She loves balls and walks around pointing
out every ball she sees. Bah, bah, bah. Dada and mum mum have gotten as clear
as day.
Our niece, Caleigha, slept over last weekend and she readily started
calling her Cah, Cah. Her name for Joanna is Nana and she points out every car
and truck we go past. I am so enthralled with her physical development, but her
language acquisition fascinates me the most. The most mind blowing part for me
is watching her with Joanna. She understands as much in Spanish as she does in
English. It is truly incredible. Her mind will absorb anything you give to it. 
Busy Brain: Jonanna has recently been lamenting that Lucy
may not have working memories of her, but she will always have an imprint on Lucy’s
development. Nana will always be in her brain. I attribute a recent developmental
discovery to her and am truly astonished by this one. The daycare provider at
the climbing gym mentioned Lucy was having success with identifying colors at
about a 70% rate. I thought this was insane, so I tested her the next day with her
wooden ring stacker. She got every color right when I gave her a choice of two
rings and asked to her pick a certain color. Happenstance? Possibly.
So I tried
again yesterday with four color sorting boxes I just bought at a consignment
store. Boom. Four out of four correct. She even passed over boxes that weren’t
correct and moved her hand until she found the right one. Then Joanna got her
phone to record the phenomena and she completely stopped doing it. So there is
no proof J.
I am going to keep testing this out in no-pressure, fun ways and see how it
goes. It is a joy to have little glimpses of the hard work her mind is doing
every minute of the day. Jim always tells her the color of the holds when she
is climbing her rock wall out back and it seems trivial, but everything we do
and say gets absorbed and processed by her busy brain. 
Back to School: Even though we wish Joanna could stay with
Luc forever, we all know it isn’t what is best for anyone L. We are thrilled and relieved
to have gotten her a spot at Nia House Montessori School in Berkeley. We are
trying to convince Jonanna to get a job there, but I don’t think it is going very
well. Lulabee needs school. She didn’t need it at 8 months. That was too little
and I hope I never have to do that again. It was fine to leave her someone else’s
care, but next time I want it to be a one-to-one situation like we have now.
Looking back, I think 12 months would have been a better time for her start in
a school. But, you live and you learn and you sign your kid up for the most
wonderful school you could have ever imagined. She will start on August 2 and I
think she will love it.
They are very clear on their ground rules and
expectations and that takes a load off of my shoulders. She will be there, at
minimum, from 9:30-3:30 and at maximum, from 8:30-5:30. This means that I will
have the opportunity to acquire some income and we are in desperate need of
that if we want to stay in the East Bay for four more years. Lucy can stay at
Nia House through kindergarten which means two major things for us. One, she
won’t have to make any more childcare/school transitions until I graduate and,
two, we don’t have to send her public school kindergarten! Both of these issues
are major stressors for me and I am thankful to have them settled. Things can
always change, but this feels so right. The school is about one mile from our
apartment and I plan to bike Lucy there in her bike cart before heading to
campus each day.
It is spring break. Jim is in Florida for a conference. Lucy
isn’t sleeping. We are all exhausted. Two days’ worth of writing has
disappeared into the interwebs and I have very little to show for all this time
off. But we are loving life in California and the sun is shining. We have done
so much exploring around the area and couldn’t be happier with our decision to
move here. Spending time with our nieces individually and both families all
together has brought us so much happiness. Lucy getting to know her cousins
means so much to me. They adore her and she thinks they were put on this Earth
for her pleasure. I am looking forward to summer and saying good-bye to a very
stressful first semester, a full year of dreaded statistics and saying hello to
three months off with my Diddlebugs. Cheers to one and half semesters of this
crazy adventure behind me and cheers to more adventures to come.
