Skiing into the Holidays

What an incredible whirlwind this semester has been. I have put off writing a blog post much longer than I wanted to, but I took and passed my qualifying exam on November 30. This is likely the most challenging and anxiety provoking milestone I will face in my doctoral program. The semester started with about 24 hours of childcare for Cooper while Lucy was at Nia House and it quickly became clear that much more was needed. I added a day of care with a babysitter and started studying every Saturday and Sunday morning for about the past three months. It was extremely stressful. Everyone in our family was feeling the effects of my absence and stress level. Now that it is over I feel so much more like myself again. My list of "to dos" feels a mile long after putting off so much during preparation for the exam and the holiday season means even more to think about. Hopefully, I will re-strike a balance of self-care, spending time with my kids, reconnecting with Jim, and getting our tiny apartment under control again. Just as we were settling in to being a family of four, I set a date for the exam, so we really haven't had much of a chance to find a new normal after welcoming Cooper into the fold. I have dropped 8 hours a week of childcare and am spending weekends with my family. I'm also trying to get healthy and fit again after having a c-section and trying desperately to find a place in our small apartment for the needs and wants of our growing family. It's a balancing act and one that I am grateful to be working on. I can remember so clearly when I started my program that passing the qualifying exam seemed all but impossible. And now "all" I have left is my dissertation proposal and then the dissertation itself. It is officially too late to quit the program, which I have wanted to do at least once a day since I started. Looks like it's onward to graduation!

I hardly know where to begin with an update on Lucy and Cooper. I'll start with Cooper because his growth and change over the past few months is easy to observe and measure. He mastered army crawling around 6.5 months and quickly transitioned to crawling on all fours with a funny little right foot push left over from the army crawl right around 7 months. He wants to keep up with Lucy and army crawling just was not doing it for him. Even though he was fully mobile, it took him a little while to figure out how to go from crawling to sitting back up and going back down. In the meantime, he did we what called "floating," which looked like he was a was in yoga class doing the move where you bounce your arms and feet at the same time while fully extended. And this meant "I'm stuck! Pick me up!" Now that he can sit back up and go cruising around (or out of) our apartment. He is often content to go around exploring each room, even by himself, and dumping out/over everything in his path. Unlike our cautious Lucy, he bolts for the door as soon as it is open and will go speeding right out if allowed. He would prefer to always be outside given the chance. Cooper has been enjoying and insisting on standing for a few months now, but he is pulling himself up on EVERYTHING....the bed, the couch, his works shelf, the learning tower, kitchen chairs, his pull-up bar in the living room, his sister, his parents, the bathtub. He is physically highly motivated and daring. He will go plunging straight off a couch or bed head first (again, Lucy knew where the edge was and seemed aware of the consequences of going it very early on). We knew we had it physically easy with Lucy, but this guy is a lot more work in that respect!

In addition to loving movement and socializing (which he needs and wants more of!), he continues to be an eating machine. He still loves milk, but he devours anything that is put in front of him. I am giving him a lot more finger foods than I ever did with Lucy and he loves it. Everything from cantaloupe to raspberries to boiled egg white. Transitioning to an almost 50/50 balance of milk and solid food has made predicting his schedule much easier, which reduces stress and anxiety all the way around. We finally found a nanny for Cooper for next semester until he starts at Nia House on August 1 of 2019. It should be much easier to describe his needs and schedule this time than it was in August of this past fall. He sleeps, milks, plays, eats, plays, sleeps. These things rarely happen at exactly the same time, but they are quite predictable. He sleeps two naps and nights in his bed and puts himself to sleep. Coop will be almost 10 months old by the time the Spring semester starts and that means only two more months of pumping for me after the break. I will need to pump some between now and then, but not nearly as much as I have been. Baby logistics change so quickly and require so much attention. I really didn't remember just how much planning and coordinating it all takes and I'm grateful to be coming out on the other side of the infant stage.

Although he puts everything in his path in his mouth, he is now exploring materials with more curiosity and focus. We spent a spontaneous and lovely weekend at Lake Tahoe to escape a thick cover of long-lasting wildfire smoke a few weeks ago and took Lucy and Coop swimming. Cooper loved bamming and splashing in the water, and of course, loved watching his sister and dad swim. But he also spent a long time playing with a succession of small fountains sprouting out from the pool wall. He seemed to be experimenting with them, pressing one of them, using one hand, then two, then letting go, moving from one fountain over to the next. It was the most I had seen him focus on one activity. It was really fun and a clear indicator that he won't be a baby for much longer. He is independent and adventurous, and very social. He doesn't seem to get overwhelmed with crowds and will let anyone hold him and talk to him, the exact opposite of Lucy. Yesterday for the first time, Coopey "called" to me from the living room while I was preparing lunch. He was sitting on the floor with a book in his lap baiting me to read with him. My heart melted. I know I have spent much less time reading with him than I did Lucy and I have been so nervous that he won't love books and words. Time will tell, but I was thrilled. Every day I look at my kids and wonder just how much of their little beings is nature and how much is nurture. If Lucy had been our second, would roles be reversed? Obviously, we will never know, but I do know I love being their mom.

On that same trip to Tahoe, I enjoyed Lucy's company in a way I hadn't since I started studying for the exam. My physical and mental absence was taking a toll on her and she was showing us that through her behavior. But when we were away from our "real lives" she was an absolute delight. She doesn't have to be a delight. She gets to be herself. In our small apartment, though, giving her the physical space she craves to experience her big emotions and spread out her imaginary play that lasts for days and sometimes weeks is hard, especially with a crawling brother. In two story condo, she could be loud upstairs and Cooper could sleep soundly downstairs. And then there are the trees and the woods and the fresh air. She can spend forever out in the woods without a single toy and be so content. Again, now that my exam is over and Cooper is older, we will get back out into the wilderness. We all need it. She made elaborate games of cooking and being a doctor and caring for her patients with her cockney sand/stick/rock/pine needle soup. I just sat beside her in the sand all morning long playing and following her lead. We even had the chance to (finally) put her on skis! It was 60 degrees and sunny and lovely out, but Northstar, where we stayed, had been making snow for weeks in anticipation of the opening weekend. We pushed an overflowing stroller right onto a free gondola, walked in t-shirts out to the kiddie slope, and she happily strapped on ski boots and skis. She has wanted to ski for so long and teaching her how while we wore sneakers and weren't pining to ski ourselves was absolutely perfect. Lucy had a fantastic time and was quite a natural little skier. It was so fun to get a glimpse of what skiing with her maybe like some day. It is so wonderful that she loves so many of the things we love. We are all looking forward to cruising around the mountain together someday, apparently not too far from now.

Recently Lou has been enjoying listening to audiobooks and has gotten really into the Rainbow Magic Fairies series. The series is a chapter book collection aimed at second graders, but she loves them and is learning and using tons of vocabulary from them. We found some at the library and I got to read her first ever chapter book with her. I think this means we are ready for some books like Charlotte's Web and soon American Girls and Little House! It's hard to believe we are already there, but it sure is a fun stage. She is playing less and less with the toys and works I have around our apartment. She is spending more and more time creating games and doing projects. She has been really into dolls and pretend play. The other day in the tub I heard her tell her water baby, "Now BabyCita, I know playing in the water is fun, but it's time to do your work." She has also started to enjoy Cooper more as he becomes human-like to her. I have a feeling we are going to be in trouble in a year from now. They already sit at the table and make each other laugh while they should be eating. Cooper thinks Lucy is a gift from the Heaven's and wants to be near her all the time. We have been working on her communicating with him to teach him and asking a grown-up for help instead of throwing him off of her or grabbing something out of his hand. She is working on it. And we have to remember to be patient with them both. Luckily Cooper is pretty hearty and likes to be dragged around, so I'm not as worried about his feelings getting hurt as I was with Lucy. But it can be hard to see her be unkind to him when he is just a little baby.

Last week we had a parent-teacher conference with Lucy's teacher, Ayako. Lucy is doing very well in school. She has started to give presentations of works to younger children and has special jobs to do during rest time. She is being invited to listen to chapter books with the older kids since she doesn't actually sleep during rest time and Ayako says her comprehension is strong. The works she has been bringing home lately have been much more sophisticated, like the layers of the Earth and stenciled shapes with multiple colors inside. She is very interested in counting, reading, and writing. We won't push her into it, but she is craving opportunities to practice. The other day she even told Jim, "not to antagonize" her. I was so proud. Ayako also says she is receptive when her peers send her messages and she respects their boundaries in ways that her peers don't even do for her. She has lots of friends and can play with lots of different children on the yard and in the classroom. I'm so grateful for Nia House and for the opportunities they provide for Lucy. It is such a perfect fit for our family.

Six Months of Scrumptious

Rhythm and Blues

It's mid-October and it seems to me this will be the fastest year of our lives, at least for Jim and me. Coopey James is already nearing 7 months, Lucy will be 4 in two short months and Jim and I are inching toward 40. We are getting into a nice rhythm as a family and starting to enjoy each other in our new roles more and more. Cooper is a strong and motivated baby and his physical capabilities have made everyday tasks a bit easier. He started sitting up independently over a month ago and can be left to play in the living room in his workspace while I begin to prepare a meal. Lucy is finding it easier to entertain him with songs, books, peek-a-boo, and silly Sissy noises. We play ball together on the living room floor and Coop can play on a mat outside while I give Lucy a chase around the courtyard. I find sharing attention between two children challenging and despise having to choose one or the other seemingly all the time. As Cooper gains more independence, Sissyroo seems to have an easier time waiting for my attention. I'm looking forward to being able to really play altogether, and that time seems closer and closer.

Coopey is strong enough to go for short rides in the blue hiking backpack which means we should be able to get for more hikes and outdoor adventures soon. We will have to build Lucy's stamina back up, but we can handle that. This weekend we went out to frisbee golf for the first time since we moved to Cali. Cooper slept in the carrier on my back, Lucy pitched discs into baskets, and Jim and Joanna got to play a full 9 holes. It was really good for all of us. I'm happy to be fully focused on kid activities all the time, but it turns out this mindset has been draining Jim's bucket and we haven't made any attempt to fill it back up. This is a complicated issue that came up in our most recent of marriage counseling, which we started about two months ago. Counseling has been so beneficial and we have done some good work in just three sessions. Our work right now is making sure Jim gets a few drops put back into his bucket each week.

I'm studying for my oral qualifying exam, which is on November 30. Completing that milestone moves into the dissertation phase of my program and gets us one step closer to moving to a play where it doesn't take 40 minutes to drive 12 miles to play a quick round of disc golf. This means I am studying on the weekends and every moment that I can (and is why I haven't written a blog post in two months). Nonetheless, we need to get Jim out to play for at least a few hours every weekend. This weekend we plan to try out the disc golf course in Golden Gate Park. We all had a good time and we always love getting out into trees and open space. We would prefer Tahoe or Yosemite, etc..., but we need to calibrate only until my exam is over. I'm hoping to do our Northern Cali/Oregon/Washington road trip this spring/early summer, so we will spend the winter doing little outings to prepare us for lots of hiking and a great big unwinding in the wilderness once Cooper is a year old, once Lucy can hike further on her own, and once milk isn't the main event in my life.


We are full into solid foods for Cooper and he LOVES it. He loves allll of it. Kale, beets, spinach, black-eyed peas, egg yolk, all fruit, squash. You name it...he devours it. The worst part of feeding him solid foods, for him anyway, is when we say all done. He gets quite upset and begs for more! We are doing the signs for eat, more, and milk with him so we can encourage clear communication that we can all understand as soon as possible. When Lucy started signing, which was long before a year old, it made a world of difference for everyone's frustration level. Cooper gets annoyed when we make him sign before food and milk, but I'm certain the training now will pay off soon!


I am enjoying making him food from scratch, just like I did with Lucy. I'm much less nervous this time and willing to try lots of different foods. I'm adding olive oil and bone broth to lots of his veggies. Lucy certainly ate a wide variety of pureed food, but I feel like I'm trying out even more with the second baby. I'm not as worried about when to introduce what, as long new foods are introduced one at a time over a three day period. He eats mostly veggies and protein from egg yolk and beans, but I'm going to introduce baked (pureed) chicken this week and plain greek yogurt after that. I also steamed up some carrots, green beans, and beets for him to try out as finger foods. He really enjoys eating tofu and avocado with his hands and, like I said, we are striving for independence!





This time around I wasn't nearly as worried about breastfeeding as I was with Lucy, however, I'm still grateful that it is going so well. I hate pumping, but my milk is still strong and plentiful so there is plenty for nursing and frozen milk. I have a pretty good system worked out. This semester I have a locker on campus where I can keep one pump and supplies right around the corner from a lactation room and kitchen with fridge and freezer. Keeping a pump on campus and knowing there is a clean, comfortable room for pumping has been a major stress reliever. Traveling between two campuses my first year made things quite complicated and difficult. In addition, Lucy hated bottles and frozen milk. Cooper has no preference. As long as he is being fed, he will take it however he can get it. We have almost made it 7 months on breastmilk and I don't see any predictable reason for that change in the near future.


Sleep is going so reasonably well I don't even have much to say about it. It seems all I talked about with Lucy was sleep. We are (I am) currently stretching Cooper's sleep time out and that causes some initial sleep disruptions. I'm willing to feed him at midnight and again at 6:00 a.m. I don't see a reason he needs to eat more than that in a night. Hopefully, he will shift his calories to daytime calories. At 7 months I'll add in another small solid food meal in addition to the two he is getting now and we will see if that makes a difference. I must pass my oral exam for the benefit of my entire family and that means I need to get a bit more than 2-3 hours of sleep in a row. A few nights ago I slept for 5 uninterrupted hours and I woke up dancing and singing and so full of energy for my kids and husband. It was such a blissful feeling and I want more of it!

Lucy is as precocious as ever. Last weekend she gave us a lesson on puffy clouds, complete with hand motions and the scientific word "cumulus." Jim and I about fell over when she said, "Can you say cumulus?" She has been really into audiobooks lately, particularly 30-minute chapter books from the Rainbow Magic series. The set of books is about fairies who get trapped by Jack Frost and the goblins. She can answer comprehension questions about characters, within and between books, plot, setting. She told us yesterday that Fern the Green Fairy "managed" to get untangled from the ivy. It amazes us both that she can listen without any visual input for so long. I'm grateful we left our TV in Ithaca when we sold our house. I recently heard that the average preschooler has 3 hours of screen time a DAY!!! Lucy has a total of 40 minutes a week on a heavy week. It's typically 10-15 minutes, usually consumed by vides of platypuses or snippets of Planet Earth as a bribe to wash her hair.

Over the weekend Luc was really interested in beginning sounds. She can identify lots of words that have the same beginning sound, she just doesn't know the sound/letter name match yet. I don't want to push her into anything she isn't ready for developmentally, but this child sure does seem like she wants to read. We have been practicing three ways to read a book, by retelling the story, reading the pictures, or reading the words. She seems to be more and more into reading the pictures and telling her own story which has been a complete joy. She spent a full hour during quiet rest time yesterday reading every single board book in Cooper's book basket. It brings me no end of happiness to see her so enthralled in language. Cooper watches her with books and I hope we can instill the same strong love of reading in him.

We did a photoshoot for Lucy after
we took six-month photos of Cooper :-).

We have known for a long time that Lucy is strong verbally, which means we try to bring in math and science whenever we can. This is easy for Jim, but more forced for me. We talk about Newton's Laws of Physics on the swings at the playground, bought her a cloud identification t-shirt at Target, and providing opportunities to play with adding and subtracting (and their corresponding vocabulary terms, ie: How many bananas IN ALL?). Yesterday she counted to 29, skipped to 60, and continued on to 69. She is also interested in geography right now. My sister brought her a small atlas and she finds endless interest in pointing out where everyone lives, or where a place is we recently read about, or where the platypus from the video lives. Having kids is a real-life, natural biology experiment. It's fascinating to watch her brain grow and develop right before our eyes. The most important thing I know about parenting thus far is that if you give it to them, they will take it. Lucy and Cooper both soak in every ounce of what is given to them. It's not always immediately obvious, but it's certain.