Milestones Galore

This past week or so has been a big week for our family. Lucy has transitioned to sleeping in her own bed in her own room. She is mostly happy about the transition about even woke up yesterday and stayed in her room playing for the first minutes of the day. She often comes over to our bed in the middle of the night. One of us takes her back to her room and snuggles for ten minutes, then leaves her to sleep. Usually, she is back asleep by the time we are done with our ten minutes. It is obvious she is looking for closeness and is experiencing some amount of loneliness in there at night. She is perfectly happy to be in the alone for quiet rest time or for extended periods of time playing, but nighttime can just feel so lonely. She feels far away from me, too, and I'm happy to snuggle for a few minutes until she feels comfortable on her own. I am now seeing the downside to keeping a little one in the parents' room for so long. I just really loved having her close by. Last week she discovered my American Girl dolls and has been playing with them nonstop. I think she is amused by their eyes opening and closing as they change positions. It brings me endless joy to see her playing with my beloved dolls. Hopefully, we will devour the books together like my mom and I did when I was a kid.

Cooper is sleeping in his own room now, too! The closet remodel is complete and he has his own space. The first sleep in his bed was 55 minutes of crying, but with ups and downs of calmness and then finally to sleep. Joanna stayed with me the entire time, knowing that I would go in and get him. It sucks to go in halfway through because then 20 minutes of crying was totally pointless. He was giving us all the signs that he is ready for a consistent and predictable schedule, including a sleep routine. He has taken to falling asleep on my shoulder after about five minutes of rocking him and singing, "Sleepy Baby." This is a far cry from bouncing endlessly on the yoga ball, or in the front carrier, only to have him wake up 15-20 minutes later. He takes short naps still, 20-40 minutes, but even 5 20 minute sessions of hands-free time allows me to feel halfway like myself again. I am much more energized when he is awake and enjoy the predictability, as well. No day is the same, but having a routine of napping in his bed every 1.5-2 hours, eating and diaper after a nap, playtime and reading on the mat, outside and/or neighborhood walk, and back to a quick rock for a nap is making a huge difference in everyone's lives. Lucy is generally respectful of his sleep time much more so when he is in his bed than when he is on me. I make a point to play with her non-stop for at least one of his naps on the weekend. I could feel my anxiety start to soar and my shortness and impatience with Jim and Lucy were wearing all of us out. Boy, do I wish I would have had a Joanna to support me when Lucy was a tiny baby. Thank goodness we have her now. She gives me the courage and rationality to do the things for these kids that are right, but hard.

My other two big supports for this new sleep gig have been Aunt Donna and Amanda, a toddler teacher at Lucy's school. They both provided me with a plan of action and ongoing support. It is has been crucial to feel like I have a village to tackle sleep. Clearly, we didn't do well with Lucy and sleep and it's not sustainable for anyone to approach it in the same way. The first night that both of my children were asleep in their own beds, I picked up a book Amanda loaned me called "Montessori Toddler." It gave me the chance to step back and see where I had been going awry with Lucy. She has had a very clear uptick in screaming, yelling tantrums recently. In one day of adjusting my approach every so slightly, she is doing much better. Some things I am specifically working are on not breaking her concentration, asking only one thing of her at a time, never saying "hurry up" but exchanging rushing for phrases like "I need you to focus on putting on shoes" instead. Life definitely feels slower and I used to hate that. It currently feels like exactly what our family needs. We will get back to traveling and visiting museums and trying out new parks. For now, we are enjoying our neighborhood and refinding joy with one another. Last Thursday evening was the specifically and clearly the first moment I looked at my two strong, healthy, happy, wonderful children and enjoyed them. I felt completely full as their mama. Sleep is an amazing tool.

Cooper is literally rocking and rolling. He travels all over the living room rolling from front to back and back to front, although sometimes he thinks he is stuck on his belly. He has become interested in toys and likes to push his feet against someone's hand to squirm himself across the floor to go after what he wants. He seems like a very motivated little guy. He is really enjoying his play gym and loves grabbing (and not just batting at) the toys hanging from it. He is working on grabbing the free hanging ring attached to bells. Because it moves more freely, it is an additional challenge for him to grab it and not just bop it. As with Lucy, I am trying to provide rich language experiences when the time is appropriate, and not when he is concentrating. He found his baby feet this past weekend and can't stop grabbing them, which is one of the cutest things babies do, in my opinion :-). Coopy James still loves chatting and making eye contact. Every once in a while you can even get a chuckle out of him. He gives "besitos" now, too; nice, big, slobbery kisses on the cheek. It's to die for. He started refuses a bottle about two weeks ago after not seeing one for about a month, but with some diligence, he is back at it, chugging 4-5 ounces at a time and pulling the bottle to his mouth when he sees it. I don't love pumping and giving him a bottle when I'm around, but the point is I'm not always around. Jim and I feel much calmer now that he is taking a bottle again. Pumping is going well and my boobs seem to have a found a level ground with Cooper. No more engorgement and the milk blister is still there but doesn't hurt or cause internal pain at this point. Our baby boy will be 4 months old tomorrow and things are really starting to come (back) together.

We had Joanna with us for the past five weeks and now that she is back to work I am a bit lost, as I always am when her time with us expires. This time around I am incredibly willing to ask for help. It makes a big difference in my health all around to have someone come in and support our family, which is why we are keeping a cleaning person for at least the semester. To have Joanna around for our second child is a joy and privilege I never imagined we would get to experience. I am grateful for her every day.