We are officially a family of four and this is my first post as a mom of two. It has been a wild transition, but we are all doing the best we can. This occasionally means short fuses and tantrums, and not just from the three year old. After and unexpected induction and emergency c-section, Cooper James was born on March 27 at 1:00 p.m. weighing in at a perfect 7 pounds 3 ounces and 20 inches long (although that measurement seemed pretty imprecise. It is hard to measure the full length of a frog, after all). Cooper's birth story is much different than anticipated and I have written a full description of it in separate document. It was traumatic and so far from imagined that I have been doing an awful lot of coping/mourning in the past four weeks and am ready to move on to acceptance and love. I want to begin honoring Cooper's presence in the world and in our family, so that's what this post is going to be. A new beginning all around.
Let's start with Big Sister, as Lucy has taken to calling herself. What an amazing kid. If I didn't fully appreciate the little person she is becoming before, I certainly do now. She is full of love and patience and kindness for her little brother. It would be perfectly acceptable if she was angry and/or jealous and/or being a total brat, but she's not. She has had a few moments of jealousy, and her nighttime routine now includes a lot of carrying her and doing things for her that she can do herself. For the most part, though, she loves helping with baby and problem solving when he is upset.
Recovering from a c-section has been incredibly difficult, especially for the first two weeks. And Lucy was on spring break for my first week home from the hospital. 😱 Typically we would be busy busy over a week long break, and I anticipated being able to get out of the house. But I could barely walk around the block. Lucy definitely gave me the cold shoulder for a while and is still preferring Jim for many of the roles that I used to play. It breaks my heart and I have shed many tears over our changing relationship. I mean, before Cooper was born I had only every spent one night not beside her. It was hard on us both. That being said, she has been patient and gentle with me as I heal and spend so much timing caring for her brother. She has started nursing her own babies, putting them in her doll carrier when the doll can't be consoled with her milk, and making sure Cooper has what he needs at every turn. I'm really looking forward to being able to play with her and run around, but we are getting there. The other day I had Coop in the carrier and turned on some music so the three of us could have a dance party while Jim made dinner. It felt really good. I mean, it made my incision and abdomen ache, but it felt good for our souls.
Cooper is an extremely mellow babe. He is never really fussy. If he is crying, it's because he has a need. He likes to be held close and loves to be toted around in the carrier (thank goodness). Although he's more reasonable in the car than Lucy was as a baby, it still needs some getting used to for him. He is a champion breastfeeder and had gained 2 pounds, 3 ounces by the time we went in for an appointment at 3.5 weeks. He is certainly beating out his sister in the growing category. In just four weeks he is filling out, growing little rolls, and looking more like a baby than a newborn. I got another snuggling baby and for that I am grateful. Baby Sunny, which we are still calling him most of the time, is starting to focus in on us with his eyes. He's still pretty much a sack o'taters, but before we know it he'll be smiling and rolling over. It seems like Lucy is looking forward to him being a little more fun. I think we all are, for that matter :-).
We are still trying figure out sleep. This is going to take some time, as it did with Lucy. Hopefully he'll start sleeping in longer stretches at some point, but for now he's up about every two hours to nurse, which is just fine as long as he keeps gaining weight. Side-lying to nurse is a bit challenging for him still and it will be great when he masters this technique. It's how I finally starting getting sleep again with Lucy. I do remember it being less and less challenging the bigger she got, so hopefully that is the case with this little guy, as well. He's not awake for much of the day yet and has made it possible for me to get a bit of work done on my school papers, as well as start cooking dinner again, doing the grocery shopping, and other normal, daily tasks that help our whole family feel more like our routine is back in tact. I even took Lucy and Cooper out on my own this weekend to run two errands and then spend some time at a playground. Cooper loves to be outside, like most babies, and slept in the stroller while Lucy and I played. It was wonderful. What a difference to have a spring baby in the Bay Area than having a winter baby in upstate New York. We can literally walk out the door any time he is needing some fresh air and it calms him down almost immediately.
It's been really nice to see Jim with this baby. He is much more comfortable, right from the start. I have a lot less anxiety, so I can hand Baby Sunny over to Jim and go take a shower or do bedtime routine with Lucy, no problem. Lucy couldn't be out of my sight. It would me make me sick if Jim was on a different floor of our townhouse, let alone out for a walk with her. In many ways, being a second time parent is much, much easier than the first time. There are so many knowns that were completely foreign the first time. Too much milk at let-down? No problem. Gassy? We can handle that. Witching hour? Easy peasy. One of those perks is that Jim is also a second time parent. We know we can parent together and we know we need to take of each other, too. We are definitely done having kids, but it seems right to be a family of four, a little more right with every passing day.
We are officially a family of four and this is my first post as a mom of two. It has been a wild transition, but we are all doing the best we can. This occasionally means short fuses and tantrums, and not just from the three year old. After and unexpected induction and emergency c-section, Cooper James was born on March 27 at 1:00 p.m. weighing in at a perfect 7 pounds 3 ounces and 20 inches long (although that measurement seemed pretty imprecise. It is hard to measure the full length of a frog, after all). Cooper's birth story is much different than anticipated and I have written a full description of it in separate document. It was traumatic and so far from imagined that I have been doing an awful lot of coping/mourning in the past four weeks and am ready to move on to acceptance and love. I want to begin honoring Cooper's presence in the world and in our family, so that's what this post is going to be. A new beginning all around. 
Recovering from a c-section has been incredibly difficult, especially for the first two weeks. And Lucy was on spring break for my first week home from the hospital. 😱 Typically we would be busy busy over a week long break, and I anticipated being able to get out of the house. But I could barely walk around the block. Lucy definitely gave me the cold shoulder for a while and is still preferring Jim for many of the roles that I used to play. It breaks my heart and I have shed many tears over our changing relationship. I mean, before Cooper was born I had only every spent one night not beside her. It was hard on us both. That being said, she has been patient and gentle with me as I heal and spend so much timing caring for her brother. She has started nursing her own babies, putting them in her doll carrier when the doll can't be consoled with her milk, and making sure Cooper has what he needs at every turn. I'm really looking forward to being able to play with her and run around, but we are getting there. The other day I had Coop in the carrier and turned on some music so the three of us could have a dance party while Jim made dinner. It felt really good. I mean, it made my incision and abdomen ache, but it felt good for our souls.
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