L-U-C-Y is T-H-R-E-E

We blinked our eyes and we have a three year old! And what an adventurous three years it has been. Lucy is a caring, thoughtful, funny, energetic little kid. She loves playing with words and reading books, even reading books to us and her stuffed friends. In the past week she used technique, camouflage, and engineer in context without one of us saying it first. Cooperation is her middle name and we get to do lots of things together as a family because she is willing to follow directions. She may be in the 8th percentile for height, but to us she has grown and grown. Lucy is ready to be a great big sister and kisses my belly and talks to Baby Sunny all the time. She is playful beyond measure and has fully exploded into the world of her imagination.  We play cooperative board games, memory, blocks a lot recently. Her favorite game is playing "cats" or "mommy and baby." She is drawn to stereotypical "girl" oriented colors. If she can wear a dress and twirl, she will be a happy kid. She also loves playing trucks and has quite the arm on her for playing catch. People frequently ask if we even remember what life was like without her. Life BL is very clear to me. Jim and I had incredibly fun and fulfilling lives together. However, I am amazingly grateful that life is now AL. She brings us so much joy and love and laughter. Being her mom is the most challenging, tiring, fascinating, wonderful, fun adventure I have ever been on. We are only three years in and I am excited about who this little girl is going to be when she grows up.

Sadly, we had to cancel her birthday party because she spiked a 72 hour fever. She broke out in itchy hives all over her poor little body on the first night. Thank goodness for Aunt Joan we avoided a midnight visit to the ER, but we were as close as we have ever been. We ended up having her party in our tiny apartment. I was so nervous that she wouldn't care or would be totally overwhelmed. I had already purchased the supplies for an art themed party and I did want to celebrate her. Everything went very well. We had the food table outside on the patio, necklace making in the living room, and decoupage in the kitchen. We hung a balloon wall and had my sister's family and some neighborhood friends over. Lucy seemed to have a blast and loved having her friends here. She asked for us not to sing to her when we did candles and cupcakes. This was bothersome to some party attenders, but it was her birthday and respecting this wish was the right thing to do. She had three mini-cupcakes, chocolate with strawberry icing as requested, and immediately passed out one to each of two friends after she blew out the candles. In the end, I was very happy we decided to squish everyone in and celebrate our three year old kid.

Lucy is getting more interested in being physical as the days go by. She has really taken to riding bike and going for runs around the neighborhood. That's right...runs, not walks. Going out for an evening jog has become part of most evening routines. She wants to play chase and my hips and knees are not up to it at this point in pregnancy. Insert Jim. Her and Jim are having a great time playing more physical games together. She is seeking him out and asking him to play with her, knowing I won't be able to do certain things she loves anymore. I used to picture this hurting my feelings, but I have had three solid years of being number 1 in that kid's life and I am delighted to see her and Jim finding games and activities they love together. (He has also taken over library visits. Turns out he picks out exceptionally interesting, age-appropriate books and chooses a diverse set of topics). And, ten weeks out from having a new baby is the perfect time for the first born to hitting it off with her non-breast milk producing father. They still have some kinks to work out and love to antagonize each other, but we are all working together to get the two of them cooking with gas. Sleep is not their friend and I thought it was better if I wasn't here when they did nap/bedtime. It turns out that Jim is open to coaching and problem-solving when he is an hour in to her still being awake after they get in the bed. If I'm here, I can give him some ideas.

In addition to being more physically active, Fuzz has been intrigued by words and letters recently. She has been spelling her name for a while now, but is able to pick out the four letters among a pile of other letters. She calls for her "Lucy name" from the bike cart on the way to school and delights in seeing L, u, c, or y on road signs, trucks going by, or license plates. I figure as long as she is interesting, I am going to give it to her, so I have been giving printing or drawing her name in dotted lines for her to trace. She gets frustrated that it's not perfect, or not the way I have written it. Bub has started say, "I can't do it." We have been redirecting and encouraging her to say, "I'm still learning (insert skill), but I can give it a try!" Books that show failure as the first step in learning are helpful and I am lookout for more of those, such as Rosie Revere, Engineer. Not being perfect is celebrated. Over the years I have worked with so many kids, almost all of them, who had never experienced a growth mindset. Jim and I don't want her thinking it's all about ability. Successes are mostly about effort and work. Some skills will definitely come more naturally to some people than other skills. Lucy is incredibly verbal, emotionally in-tune, and curious. She also loves playing engineer and doctor and asks if she can do science. She has started to show the same interest in counting and reading numbers as she does in letters and words. Some day she may not be so inquisitive; hopefully she'll never lose her sense of wonder, but it does seem to fade for most into adulthood. One of Jim's strengths, one that I envy, is his curiosity and playfulness. Montessori school reinforces these strengths in her and we hope we are doing the same.

Baby Sunny is growing and growing. At 29 weeks pregnant, he is putting on fat under his skin and growing his brain. I am feeling very good. Pregnancy, post-first trimester, is pretty easy on me. I like being visibly pregnant and I LOVE feeling him roll around in my tummy. My love for him is growing and I am sure I will be ready for him when he arrives. I am finally starting to crave holding a tiny baby and nursing him in my arms. It will be a joy to see Lucy take a new role. But, I am still anxious about the change in family dynamics that is inevitable. I have poured so much into being Lucy's mum that the thought of doing that all over from 0-3 years is exhausting. Jim and I are a good team. He still needs his share of parenting and is slowly to appreciate child development. We well together, though. We balance each other out. I know we will be great to parents to Baby Sunny. I just don't want it to suck all of my energy for Lucy out.

In an effort to reduce stress and anxiety, Jim and I decided I would quit working for the semester. For complicated and unsurprisingly unfriendly policies towards moms at university, it was turning out to be a nightmare, with me possibly working loads of hours late into the evening and still having to pay back tuition in the end. Since I threw in the towel, I have felt a large burden come off of my shoulders. I don't like not contributing financially and feel like I should have to be working harder. I am trying to find a way to let those new burdens go. I have been given the unique and exceptional opportunity to focus on writing my last two position papers before Baby Sunny arrives without many other distractions. We won't have to pay for childcare when Lucy is sick or has a day off school. I can make dinner earlier and spend more time with Lucy in the evenings, which means a lot to me in the last two or so months before we become a family of 4. Why does guilt always come along with ease? On any account, I am deep into the first draft of my third position paper and don't have to freak about not having it perfect before the semester starts Tuesday. I'll just keep writing and writing until it's ready for a review by my advisor and then send it off. Fingers crossed all three position papers are complete before baby. No big deal if they are not, but boy would it be comforting!