Solving Problems

When I was a teacher, my main goal was to persuade students they could solve their own problems. I saw my primary role as a teacher of skills that would enable students, children, to make decisions they could feel about, to do the right thing, to ask for help when they needed it, and to figure it out when on their own when they could. I had other teachers using the phrase, "hmmm...I wonder what could be done to solve this problem?" I see my role as a parent quite similarly. And, while I am typing, I am realizing that this is the stuff I have chosen to study for my PhD program...self-determination: goal-setting, choice-making, building and sustaining relationships, self-advocacy, and decision making.

Lucy problem solving/"helping" Dad Guy.

A couple of days ago Luceenie (as she is requesting to be addressed these days), was putting on her shoes when she realized they were stuck together. She pulled them apart, declared that they weren't broken, and announced, "I can do it myself. I can fix my problem." I love when she counts. I melt when she sings. Her vocabulary and interest in word play and books blows me away. But this was my most proud moment of motherhood to date. She'll most likely outdo herself again and again, as children do in the eyes of their parents. "I can fix my own problem" was music to my ears. Positive reinforcement for two plus years of dedication, patience (and sometimes not), and fostering independence and problem-solving. She doesn't know she did it, but Lucy has given me the motivation I sometimes long for to keep the attachment parenting going. To keep the screens to a bare minimum, to keep the house set-up for her, and to be a model for the behavior we want to see from her. Cheers to Montessori, Berkelyan, bed-sharing, positive parenting little ones.