To Sleep or Not To Sleep...That is Lucy's Question

 Sleep. I used to sleep up to 12 straight hours a night. I would sleep that long and then nap in the afternoon if I could. I love sleep as much as I love ice cream. And along came baby...

Sleep deprivation is a crazy thing. And I literally mean crazy, as in, my head does not function properly because I am tired crazy. Lucy has been a "good" sleeper since the moment she was born. She definitely likes to be in motion when she sleeps, but she has really had very little day/night confusion. The latest I can ever remember being up with her as a newborn was 1:15 in the morning and she stayed in bed until 11:00 the next day. 

She is still this way. She stays in the bed for 11-12 hours every night. If she goes to bed a bit later than usual she sleeps in a little later. Sounds heavenly, right? It is a gift not to be up for long stretches in the middle of the night, but when you are crazy in the head you can warp your thoughts into insane, unappreciative thinking fast. 

Right before we left on our cross-country Luey Baby was up to a 3-4 hour stretch followed by nursies followed by a 4-5 hour stretch. She maintained a reasonable schedule for a small human who was being schleped all over creation and sleeping somewhere new every/every other night. But then the havoc set in and so did the crazy space in my brain. Lucy started waking up 8-9 times a night, almost every hour and demanded to nurse every time. I started to get snappy with Jim and frustrated with her. I also started reading about sleep and filling that crazy space in my head with opposing ideas from every direction. 

Then I read the only helpful thing I have ever read about baby sleep. You can't force a baby to sleep, but you can force yourself to change your attitude about baby sleep. Something reasonable floated into that crazy space in my mind and calmed the waters. I realized I needed to be thankful for the 11-12 hours she (and I, if I was smart enough to go to bed with her) spent in the bed. I also started tuning back in to my mom instincts and made a few changes. 

• Queen mattress on floor: we put our bed on the floor with a toddler next to it. This gave me peace of mind for babe staying in the bed and gave all three of us some room to move. When I was getting sleep, it was unworried, good sleep (just not enough of it ;-)
• Removal of sleep sack: 2 less wakings the following nights 
• Kicked dad out of the bed and into the guest room: self-soothing every other hour occured when I wasn't worried about disturbing Jim's sleep
• Sleep-log: really irritating in the middle of the night, but has helped my sanity as I can see real change, triggers for bad sleep and changes that encouraged better sleep. 
• Sound maker: turned off the music and turned on ocean waves kept her sleeping through the end of her first sleep cycle (something that has never happened prior to now at any time for night sleep)
• Nursies: only every two hours or more and she is self soothing back to sleep in between without even asking for milk
• Refusing to leave the bed once we are in it: first night=1 hour of crying with me laying beside her while she wallowed around (nursies whenever she asked) feeling so exhausted that I considered morphing into a zombie, second night= 45 minutes of crying with same available of comfort from me, third night 30 minutes of nursies, wallowing and sleepy talk but minimal crying, tonight (number 4)=25 minutes of nursies and snuggles with NO crying and then drifted peacefully off to sleep (after launching her lovey across the bed about 48 times...she just want get attached to that snuggly little guy).

She has only woken up every 1.5-3 hours for the past few nights, which may seem painful, but it is forward progress and for that I am thankful. I am also committed to keeping perspective from here on out. I was really starting to freak out when I was so tired I couldn't get shoe on each foot, let alone start a PhD program. As we always sing to her, "Every little thing is gonna be alright." LuBear also seems to be shifting from three short naps to two longer naps a day, all on her own. Yesterday she took a 2 hour and 40 minute nap. Luckily I was smart enough to nap with her and then I had time to eat lunch, write a blog post and do some prep for school.